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'One Minute With Dec'

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The Archive - '3'

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Written by Dec Cluskey with a little bit of help from his friends.

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This Email first mailed to all Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' and subscribers to 'One Minute With Dec' on

23 May 2007

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=================================

'One Minute With Dec'  

The Music Industry's Insider.

Since 1996 

"My Emails Are Written With Good Humour And Should Be Read With A Smile"

[-The views of any contributor to 'One Minute with Dec' are not necessarily the views of Dec Cluskey-]  

Proud Members of Eastbourne Chamber of Commerce 

"Viagra... Now available in powder form to put in your tea.
 
 
It does nothing  for your 
 sex life, but it stops your biscuits from going soft." 

 

  • The TV 'Grease is the Word' type shows [Syco, if you are offended please sue me!] 
  • The Greatest Guitar Teaching Book Ever?  this will change your guitar playing forever ]    
  • Launching side by side [ what you have been waiting for]
  • Visual Laugh?  [  Want to do something constructive?
  • Success Stories [ More great stories ]
  • Charts   
  • Subscriber's Section [ A long, long question ... about a music career at 40? ]
  • The gags: .....    from Bernie this time! [a short one ]
The TV 'Grease is the Word' type shows [Syco, if you are offended please sue me!] 

 The real story:

1) Assemble a number of good promising 'would be' stars using the best agents around and sometimes picking a few by recommendation.

2) Advertise and hold lots of auditions at Church Hall type venues, the judges are simply staff and Assistant Floor Manager type people [almost 100% get through to the next round]

3) Give or send a great, exciting letter to those who have 'got through to the next round' advising them to bring a partner/mother/mentor/friend to the main auditions.  These are held at a 'reputable venue'.  A West End Theatre?

4) Hold 'next round' over 5 days ... each day 1,000 turn up and are filmed and directed as 'extras'.  Shots are taken of 'would be's' singing in the line of hopefuls.  Lots of interviews are shot.  The excitement is frenetic.  "Oh they interviewed me - they must like me" is the common reaction.  Lots of shouting and screaming [for the eventual opening shots of the series]

5) Shots are filmed of limos sweeping by, the crowd is encouraged to whoop and scream ..... [does all that seem familiar when you watch the show?] ... A cheap way of getting thousands of 'extras'?

6) One by one the 'freezing cold' or 'scorching hot' [depending on the weather] contestants are ushered in [two hour wait in the cold/heat usually].  Fantastic talents are simply told 'no' ... why?  They are looking for 'freaks' to put on the auditions part of the show.  A good talent is boring [they have the hopefuls for TV lined up already, including the winner/winners].... I have accurate evidence of an overweight small woman with plasters on her hands [probably Carpel Tunnel Syndrome], glasses, badly cut hair being gushed over and sent immediately to the next stage [which is the first time they see the 'real' judges - and are filmed auditioning].  I also have accurate evidence of a stunning world wide talent [Yep! For real] who was allowed to sing 2 songs [unusual] and then was told, by an almost tearful assistant, 'no'.  The TV crews were astonished!  You must understand here, she would be of no value in the auditions 'freak show'.

Of course, the company [Syco in this instance] will cover their a** by making sure some of the eventual stars would 'seem' to come from the masses ... I would not think they would be silly enough to be 'found out' by the media.

I have two things to say:

1) Why not be transparent and admit that a would-be sensational talent has virtually no chance of being 'picked' [in the UK] for a shot at stardom though the advertised channels.

2) I object totally and am abhorred by the crass picking of innocent, simple, well intentioned [and totally untalented] folk to create a 'freak show' for public entertainment.

Sad!  As I always say to anyone who asks: "always remember it is simply a TV show" - little to do with REAL Show Business.

 "People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said,  

 but - they will always remember how you made  them feel." 

The Greatest Guitar Teaching Book Ever?  this will change your guitar playing forever ]    

 So you have always wanted to play like Joe Satriani ... or even like the legendary Jimi Henrix [RIP]?

 I have just received the first copy of 'Mach 1 Guitar' from the printers.....Wow!  Plus the CD from the duplication plant.

Written by a Serious Writers Guild member, Andy Ridgeway, with a little help and guidance from myself, it will change the way you think of guitar and the way you feel you want to play.  All the secret tricks, techniques, know-how and tips that only the top guys know and won't allow other guitar players to know ... a stunning product with a full CD of practice techniques and full tracks to play to .... and the Freebies that go with it make a great package ... stand by for the launch announcement next week.

"Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy

under all outward circumstances." -- J. Donald Walters

 

Launching side by side [ what you have been waiting for]

One of the biggest problems that home recording guys have, and good guitar players have, is getting that unbelievable massive sound that they hear the big guys get.

I have been accumulating every bit of guitar recording knowledge and scouring my brain for every bit of knowledge I have to create 'So You're Think Of Recording Guitar' - THE FULL STORY.

So Andy and I decided to give a stunning Freebie with 'Mach 1 Guitar'.  It will be a taster of what the full book on guitar recording is all about.  A real eye opener.  Now your guitar can sound as massive as Green Day, Killers, Iron Maiden, as trendy as Avril Levigne and as classy as Gordon Giltrap and Tommy Emmanuel [yes, I have recorded Gordon in my studio and tidied up a live Tommy Emmanuel album]

Again, stand by for the launch announcement next week.

"Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want." -- Jim Rohn

Visual Laugh?  [  Want to do something constructive?

This will help every motorist.  

http://www.makehits.com/PriceofGas.pps 

 "God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
" 

Success Stories  [ More great stories ]

Go to www.makehits.com/testimonials.htm also www.makehits.co.uk/applause.htm for stories that will amaze you and fill you full of hope for YOUR future.]

 Hi Dec

First of all let me thank you ever so much for the enormous impact your course has had on every area of my life.

The years of hard work are paying off and I'm starting to have great success.  I am currently worth 1/3 of a Million pounds! It's all thanks to you.

David Payne

Another

Hi Dec

The wool has most definitely been lifted from in front of my eyes and I'm a 50 years old, been around the block, cynic

 Phil Ireland

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.”
          

 

=====================

Charts:

USA [my thanks to Charles in the USA for supplying this]

1) T-Pain Featuring Yung Joc ... Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') ... Konvict/Nappy Boy/Jive  ...  Zomba
 
2Maroon5 ... Makes Me Wonder ...  A&M/Octone  ...  Interscope
  
3 Avril Lavigne ...Girlfriend ...RCA   |  DIGITAL   |  RMG


UK  [Shop bought + official downloads]  

1)  Rihanna ft Jay-Z ... Umbrella ...Def Jam) ... http://www.defjam.com/site/artist_home.php?artist_id=586
 
2)  Maroon 5 ... Makes Me Wonder ... (A&m/octone)  ... http://www.maroon5.com/
 
3) 
Beyonce & Shakira ... Beautiful Liar ... (Columbia) ... http://www.beyonceonline.com

Download Chart  [now the most important chart in the UK  

1) Gym Class Heroes ... Cupid's Chokehold ... (Decay Dance/Fueled By) ... http://www.gymclassheroes.com/index2.php

2)  Beyonce & Shakira ... Beautiful Liar ... (Columbia) ... http://www.beyonceonline.com

3) McFly ... Baby's Coming Back ... (Universal Music)

"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone." [????? worth a thought?] 


Subscriber's Section [ A long, long question ... about a music career at 40? ]

Hi Dec

Thanks for your reply to my questions.

I am not disputing your ideas or credentials, but let's be realistic a minute. I am sure anyone can quote instances of any sort that buck a trend, but how realistic is it for guys in their 40s or 50s to set the world alight with their music? The scene today really is about predominantly young people making music and buying music, wouldn't you say?

Besides, I look at the Internet and consider that it must be possible to break in by a route other than producing a "dynamic cast iron no. 1 toon"

.  D***   etc. etc. etc. ............... 

My Reply: 

Our rules are "one short reply to ONE question FOR NON-MEMBERS, Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' have unlimited personal access to Dec by direct telephone, Fax and Email , apply at https://secure.mistral.co.uk/makehits/swgappsecure.htm ".   

D***

<<<<<<<<The scene today really is about predominantly young people making music and buying music, wouldn't you say?>>>>>>>>>

Correct .... Although I prove the opposite ... Don't you think? As do a lot of the Members. You are correct that a career as a performer has always been reserved for the young ... Although again there are many exceptions ... Bing Crosby is still recognised as one of the biggest sellers ever ... He was 39 when he had his first hit. Sheryl Crow?   38? 

<<<<<<<<Are you saying it's not possible to do it any other way?>>>>>>>

What I say is 98% correct .... There will always be exceptions .... The Internet way is not the 'easy option' that all music makers want. It is simply an 'add-on' to doing it the accepted Industry Standard way.   In fact, it is almost essential to have a good MySpace presence. 

><<<<<<Do you consider it a waste of time signing up to, say, Itunes or making an amateur music video for 'myplace'?>>>>>>

They are simply 'add-ons'. On their own - worthless. MySpace is used by the Industry as a quick way to check the popularity of an act or artist ... Therefore it can work totally against a newly uploaded artist with few 'friends' and a quiet 'forum'.

<<<<<<<<<a recording artiste - if they are looking for material surely they will be open to hearing new songs whether they are 'finished' recordings or basic 'demos'?>>>>>>>>

This gets back to realising that Celine Dion has a back log of 6 months of jiffy bags which her people 'supposedly' will listen to. Why should they? They know that the material will be 25 years too late! There is only one Industry Standard way of presenting material. Celine Dion's people will only listen to material presented in the Industry Standard way ... As Diane Warren would send it, or Cathy Dennis.  Or any of the members of The Serious Writers Guild www.makehits.co.ukwho take 100% of my advice.

<<<<<<it's futile attempting to get any kind of song to anyone unless you can get it performed. >>>>>>>>

Correct. Unless it 'stinks' of a hit, which some tracks do. Mostly, record companies etc. want to see a song 'working'.   How else will they know a song 'works'?  There is no need for them to guess any more. 

<<<<<<<What happens, for instance, if Will Young writes a song?>>>>>>>

He will automatically perform it to 'check it out'. He is surrounded by guys [who will co-write] that will make sure the song is a Chart Hit.

<<<<<<<<You seem positive that there is only one way to do things, in which case how do other people make it?>>>>>>>>

The 'other people' do it exactly the same way   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     2% will have success in some different way. Jane McDonald? Some of the Soap Stars?

<<<<<<<<You seem to be saying that the only way I MIGHT get it to anyone that matters is by investing in your demo consultation service.>>>>>>>>

Not at all! If you have a fantastic potential hit record and approach record companies, production companies, managements and agencies with it in the way I set out, then if the song proves itself, they will snap it up! Who wouldn't? If it 'stinks' of a hit they will run with it.... They most probably will want to see it working to a crowd, however.

I would still say, that the Demo Consultation Service is the BEST and cheapest available way to check out music for the 'selling' market ... If you know a a better way, please let me know. Any other service I know ofjust put ticks on the boxes of a pre printed sheet, one or two inane comments: "great song, don't forget to send any more songs you have [ and send your hard earned dosh, by the way!]" 

www.makehits.co.uk/demo.htm .... [the best Demo Consultation available] 

<<<<<<<<It may just be that much of my material does not have a big market out there. >>>>>>>>>

Then you have not followed what I say in 'How To Make A $Million From Your Music'. Simple as that! I emphasis over and over that you MUST create music that the record buying public NEED ... Not what you feel they NEED.

<<<<<<<< I find it de-motivating to produce without realistic avenues into the business, >>>>>>>>>>

I have given you the 'avenues' in 'How to Make A $Million' ... You also have direct access to me?

<<<<<<<I wrote a 'chill-out' piece called "Deep Space" recently purely for the enjoyment of doing it, yet also knowing that there is a small market for this out there too.>>>>>>>>>>

There is a MASSIVE market for chill out music... Provided it is better than what is around at the moment... Chill out music moves forward in style and construction faster than any other style of music.

<<<<<<There are so many amazingly talented singer-songwriters and bands out there that slog away at gigs and promotions without much reward.>>>>>>>>

Where? Name one? If they have what the public want it is impossible to fail. Repeat - IMPOSSIBLE.

<<<<<<<<. I want to do it a different way.>>>>>>

And that is probably where you make the biggest mistake! There is no point in making all the same mistakes all over again, that others have made. As I say so many times: "If you have had no success so far doing it your own way then you must be making a few, if not a lot of mistakes"

<<<<<<<<I imagine you often consider where the industry is heading? I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.>>>>>>>>>

I have a very simple philosophy in music .... I give the public what they want, using all the tools available. The music industry is getting better and better .... There will always be the need for Hit Songs. It is not getting harder or easier - it has always been exactly the same: a business where you find what the public want and give it to them ... Just like any other business. Find your market and satisfy your market.

<<<<<<<<<I don't know if you ever did visit my website and listed in to a song or two. I understand if your schedule is busy.>>>>>>>>>

You are correct, I did not. For the simple reason [which anyone in the business will tell you] it is far too dangerous... Even though I respect you completely, D***, the chances of picking up 'Moviepaz' and 'Movieland' viruses from sites with music [other than MySpace etc.] is huge .... The last time it cost us two days of no work and a very expensive bill for an expert, working two full days, to repair.

As I have said so many times, the Industry Standard way is by CD ....... Although MySpace is quite accepted.

But think about this: I use a laptop all day long [this is written on laptop].

The speakers on laptop are tiny. Most people who upload to MySpace do not have their music Mastered, therefore the volume and density is much lower and quieter than commercial CD. In fact, sometimes it is hard to even hear it!

So which is better? Listening to a laptop or a CD through the main studio speakers? I rest my case.

Regards .. I am always here for you.

Finally, D***, as I have heard from so many successful businessmen [and we are in BUSINESS] "don't do it your own way, do it the SUCCESSFUL way" .  and the successful way is totally laid out, step by step in 'How to Make A $Million From Your Music' at  https://secure.mistral.co.uk/makehits/swgappsecure.htm

But you have to do it 100% .... just picking the 75% that suits you will not work at all..

Regards

DEC [Cluskey]
mailto:dec@makehits.com

Fantastic Easter bundle d.eal:  "57 Secrets of a Hit Record" and "Demo Consultation" ... TOGETHER: £120 - $230 - EUR 175 https://secure.mistral.co.uk/makehits/swgappsecure.htm or fast cred*it card line: +44 1323.728005 or UK 01323.728005

Make it a Great Week  ...... 

Dec    contact Dec at dec@makehits.com  

================================= 

The gags: .....    from Bernie this time! [a short one ]

A guy gets a job working for the Samaritans. One morning he 'phones in saying he can't come to work because he is sick.
The B - - - - - - s talked him out of it !!!!!!!!!!!!

============================================

How to set up a Demo consultation with Dec?

The Professional service the Professionals use.  Even available for voice and guitar!  

Simply get in touch by Email - click this link: demo@makehits.co.uk and tell me that you want to send your material for a full critique and appraisal. We will then send you a unique PIN number to put on your letter or Jiffy Bag. This will ensure you get immediate attention. This is also for security reasons.  We do not open unsolicited Jiffy Bags.

For full details click on this link: www.makehits.co.uk/demo.htm


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