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The Archive - '2'
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Written by Dec Cluskey with a little bit of help from his friends.

This Email first mailed to all Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' and subscribers to 'One Minute With Dec' on
21 April 06
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'One Minute With Dec'
"My Emails Are Written With Good Humour And Should Be Read With A Smile"
[-The views of any contributor to 'One Minute with Dec' are not necessarily the views of Dec Cluskey-]
"If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum." Anonymous
The guys
are having a blast on MySpace.
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.""Is the man of the house home?", they asked. "No", she replied. "He's out." Then we cannot come in", they replied.In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened."Go tell them I am home and invite them in!" The woman went out and invited the men in" We do not go into a House together," they replied. "Why is that?" she asked.One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!" His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!""Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife. "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"
"How To Make the Most
of
Music Networking Events?"
Do you know how to make a Showcase or record launch, a Show Biz party, work for you?
~Dec tells all with a little help from Debra Fine~
(3) "How do I project my voice?"
(4) "I am wondering however what my bottom line should be in negotiation?"(5) "What is correct vocal harmony?"
(6) "How can I make music managers and record labels believe in my idea?"
(7) "Does the size of guitar pick affect the length of the sound?"
A quick note to let you know I'm playing in the East End of London early next week.Monday's gig is at the Vibe Bar in Brick Lane, from 7:30 PM - 11:30 PM, just around the corner from where I used to live. I'm one of four headline acts (the others are Robbie Knight, Back To The Rhythm and BBC award-winner Cameron Dundee, who also hosts). I think my set will be around 9pm. It'll be an acoustic set of original songs both from the piano and the guitar. Free to get in, so there's no excuse not to get down there.A different mood on Tuesday at Bistrotheque in Bethnal Green, where I'll be surrounded by all the glitter and camperie of the Hanky Panky cabaret club, doing something jazzy and possibly rather loud in the guest spot. Hosted by the exquisitely talented Xavior, it's a fiver if you're loaded, a very reasonable £2.50 concession price if you're not, and it all kicks off around nine.Click on the day to see full details of the gig. If it all goes horribly wrong and the link doesn't work, either of the links below will get you everything you need to know in a couple of moves.Really hope to see a few of you at one or other of the gigs. If you get there before I do, talk amongst yourselves.Cheers - WoodyxxWOODSTOCK TAYLOR
http://www.myspace.com/woodstocktaylor
Hi DecOur album nominated for Top Dance album of the year (country) nominated Best act of the year (country) in the few years that I've known you. We were voted for and received our award for Band of the year at New Romney last Saturday (...packed) This is the age group that really buys our albums, dances are choreographed to them by the top dancers in the UK, we have one sitting at number two in the UK and another at number 2 in Holland and it's a market we continue to develop and exploit.Kelvin Britton Miles
Charts:
USA [my thanks to Charles in the USA for supplying this]
(1)
Daniel Powter ..... Bad Day
. Warner Bros. | DIGITAL
(2)
Sean Paul .... Temperature .... VP | Atlantic
(3) T.I. ....
What You Know ... Grand
Hustle | Atlantic
UK
1) Gnarls Barkley .... Crazy ..... (Warner Music)
3) Shayne Ward .... 'No Compromise'
3) Mary J Blige & U2 .... One
Download Chart [now the most important chart in the UK]
1) Gnarls Barkley .... Crazy ..... (Warner Music)
2)
Rihanna .... SOS
.... (Universal Music)
3
) Red Hot Chili Peppers .... Dani California .... (Warner Music)Subscriber's Section:
A good question on recording a simulated choir.
My Reply:Hi Dec...
One more question...Is there any way to record one or two people and make it sound like a full female choir? I have a vocal melody in my head, but I hear it as a female choir.The choir I hear is the same as the one used in "Under the Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Yes, its an old song, and my vocal melody sounds nothing like that song, but I hear that type of choir singing it.
I am just asking if there is a way to do it without hiring a whole choir.
Thanks for your help,
N *****
Hi N *****
It is very rare that we hire a complete choir for a session unless it is a distinctive Gospel choir sound we want [it is very hard to simulate Gospel sound]
Normally we get/hire three singers. These can be male / female according to the eventual sound you want...in your case all female. Steer away from singers with a solo type vibrato. Vibrato can work with just three singers singing three part harmony but not for this kind of work [Dusty Springfield's backing singers?]
It is essential that the choir parts are written correctly. I repeat...essential. Don't even think of proceeding without writing the parts or having them written by an arranger.
The three singers sing one line together in unison. We track that 3/4 times until we are satisfied [through experience] that the eventual sound will be right, in other words, thick enough or light enough...whichever we are aiming at.. It is useful if the singers are used to this type of work and understand to change the timbre of their voices for each track ... Thus filling a huge frequency range. If they simply sing the same three/four times it will just sound like three singers only louder. We ask the three to move positions around the microphone whilst singing these four tracks...even use differing microphones.
Then we get the three singers to repeat this process singing the next line. Then repeat for the third line, fourth line or how many parts in the harmony.
There are many types of harmony combinations and you simply have to learn [from music theory books] which sounds you want.
I repeat, it is essential that the parts are written correctly and sung correctly. Busked harmonies will always sound 'busked' and cheap. Beware the singer who issues the immortal words: "I've got a good line we can sing"....recipe for total disaster...I know... I've been there too many times. Nowadays I simply say: "sing the notes you have been given....they are the correct notes".
I hope this helps...you can always call me +44 1323.4 ***** or Skype Internet Video Phone : *********
Regards
DEC [Cluskey]
mailto:dec@makehits.co.uk
Just released:- "57 Secrets of a Hit
Record" ... - 260 pages of the Secrets plus the CDrom Analysis
Software and Audio CD to ensure that your music is a Potential Hit www.makehits.com/57Secrets.htm
or call UK 01323.728005 [+44.1323.728005]
Dec
You may use any part of this 'One Minute' in your own publications...we simply require you to add:
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'One Minute With Dec' is written each week by Dec Cluskey. Dec's advice?
Get in touch personally to discuss what you want to achieve in music dec@makehits.com
web: www.makehits.com or call +44 (0)1323.728005
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The gags: ..... Naughty ... but funny....
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He
replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go
along."
So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jack-knife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, 'That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No, she said, 'I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal."
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