YEAR'S BEST HEADLINES: "Kids Make Nutritious Snacks" Taste like chicken?
   

• What a disappointment? [ something to watch in your career? ] 
• Do you have a good Mission Statement?  [you should have]
• Are You Really Good At What You Do?  [ the real way to success? ]   
• Support a fellow 'One Minuter'?
• Visual Laugh?   [This will give you some fun.]  
• Success Stories [ None this week ... first time ever! ]
• Charts   
• Subscriber's Section[The best sound module?] 
• The gags: .....   Willie at it again! [  A Child? ]

What a disappointment? [ something to watch in your career? ] 

I went as a guest to see 'Muse' at the new Wembley Stadium last night ... my reaction?

This stadium only suits the top stadium entertainers [pity?].  And 'Muse' are probably the best at the moment [sorry U2!]

The reverb and slap back in the stadium is horrendous ... so only slow vocals work!  As does the trick of not talking [as I always advise in 'How To Make a $Million From Your Music'] .  Also, making use of the interesting 'few instruments phenomenon'.  In other words, the fewer instruments the bigger the sound.  And 'Muse' proved that!  Three guys with the biggest sound I have ever heard.  Totally monstrous.

Now.............

It was quite disgraceful what went on, sound wise, for the other three acts.  It was like going back, in time, 25 years.  That was the time when the main act got the good sound and the supports were deliberately sabotaged, sound wise.  The sound set up and the mixes were quite disgraceful!  In such a prestigious world venue?  

I can only guess that the whole set up was designed, sound wise, for 'Muse' ... and the other acts simply had to put up with the digital desk set up that was in place for Muse ... by the way, any sound jockey needs a three week course to come up to speed on the latest generation of mega digital desks. So my feeling about the sound mixes for the other acts was that either they just turned up the various channels set up for 'Muse' and let them work with that.  OR............

The sound engineers for the other acts just could not handle the mixer or the specialised equipment in place for 'Muse'.

The audience were all set to walk out after the horrendous mixes.  If any of the guys involved are reading this, I invite you to say it was different?

The first act, a particular favourite of mine at the moment 'Rodrigo Y Gabriela' ... stunning [check 'em out in the line up at www.Guilfest.co.uk  next week!].  Their guitar sound, as presented, showed that the mix man had never even thought of reading my 'So You're Thinking of Recording Guitar' www.makehits.com/recordingguitar.htm .  How about not even having one of the guitars plugged in for the first number?  At Wembley Stadium?  Come on!

'Dirty Pretty Things' really must have felt that this was the worst pub gig they had ever done ... roadies running around trying to fix things .... the huge echo that some genius mix man decided to add to the mix [or was it the repeater towers had their delay lines switched off?].  I honestly could not believe that they did not smash their axes on the floor with disgust [what was the atmosphere like in the dressing room after?].  Should have checked out how to present guitars?  www.makehits.com/recordingguitar.htm

'The Streets' ... one of the most respected bands around were totally destroyed by the mix ... 'The Streets' without hearing the words?  Again, come on? 

No wonder so many were asking how to get their money back?  But then 'Muse' came on ....Wow!  Now he knew all my guitar recording and presentation tricks ...Wow ...again!  the biggest sound I have EVER heard ... and the guitar presentation tricks?  The ' Marshalls ' with Diezel heads ...   Check 'em out at www.makehits.com/recordingguitar.htm

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers" [Now that's taking  things a bit far!]
 

Do you have a good Mission Statement?  [you should have]

It is so important to understand what you goals and aims are in your music business, and in fact, in ANY business.  Consider ours, here at Makehits ... then start thinking about how you could fashion yours?

"We aim to provide the best product at the best price without sacrificing customer satisfaction, or putting a dent in that all-important customer relationship." 

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges" You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
 

Are You Really Good At What You Do?  [ the real way to success? ]   

Some occupations don't require you to be excellent at what you do to get by.   But there really isn't such a thing as "getting by" in the music biz.   You either make it or you don't.  

You either aim to be top of the pile or you struggle for twenty years before giving up and playing in a function band or moaning that the whole business is a 'fix'.

As I always say to my friend who has the best restaurant in our town: "Vittorio, it's not that you get some things right, it's that you get EVERYTHING right" 

"Man Struck By Lightning:  Faces Battery Charge" He probably IS the battery charge!
 

Support a fellow 'One Minuter'?

Dear Stone Cats Fan,

We'll be playing Friday night at BS Bar & Grill (St Louis, MO) at 8:45pm and Saturday night at O'Aces (Imperial, MO) at 9pm.

Also, for those of you going to Ocho Rios , Jamaica with us next year, if you don't have a passport, you should apply for one before the end of September to insure you get to go with us! Here is an article I recently read concerning passports...

To get your Jamaica Tickets, call 1-618-288-1993 with your credit card information or make your cashiers check or money order out to "MLT Vacations." $1533.92 per couple (All-Inclusive).

Hope to see you this weekend!

Stone Cats,

http://www.stonecatband.com

Another?

Sat 7th July    The  White Horse  Ditchling in Sussex , UK  from  8.30 pm
 
The Heartsmiths
Hey, this will be our first smoke-free gig.
I cant say that it will do much to our performance but at least you'll be able to see us clearly........ which could be a good or bad thing I suppose.
 
See you there.   Paul Hartley
 

"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"  Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
 

Visual Laughs? [This will give you some fun.]  

http://www.makehits.com/FuelCrisis.pps 

"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"  Weren't they fat enough?!
 

More Counterfeit Shure Mics. seized  [be careful!]

Shure's ongoing worldwide efforts to curtail distribution of counterfeit products registered another success earlier this month with the seizure of a large quantity of faked items in Taipei . The development follows the launch of an anti-piracy initiative last autumn and the subsequent confiscation of counterfeit Shure microphones in Liverpool .

So, be very careful when you buy a supposedly 'cheap' Shure mic. [usually SM58 or SM57] 

Success Stories  [ None this week ... first time ever! ]

Go to www.makehits.com/testimonials.htm also www.makehits.co.uk/applause.htm for stories that will amaze you and fill you full of hope for YOUR future.]

 =====================

Charts:

USA [my thanks to Charles in the USA for supplying this]

1) Rihanna Featuring Jay-Z ... Umbrella ....  SRP/Def Jam   IDJMG  
 
2) Shop Boyz .... Party Like A Rockstar ....  OnDeck   Universal Republic

3)  T-Pain Featuring Yung Joc .... Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin')  Konvict/Nappy Boy/Jive   |  08718*   |  Zomba
 
UK  [Shop bought + official downloads] 

1)  Rihanna ft Jay-Z ... Umbrella ...Def Jam) ... http://www.defjam.com/site/artist_home.php?artist_id=586
 
2)  White Stripes .... Icky Thump .... (XL Recordings)
 
3)  Enrique Iglesias .... Do You Know ... (Interscope)

 Download Chart  [now the most important chart in the UK ]  

1) Rihanna ft Jay-Z ... Umbrella ...Def Jam) ... http://www.defjam.com/site/artist_home.php?artist_id=586
 
2) Mutya Buena ... Real Girl ... (Universal Music) 

3) Calvin Harris ... The Girls ... (Sony BMG Music)
 

"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft " That's what he gets for eating those beans!
 

Subscriber's Section [The best sound module?]

Hi there dec can you suggest to me the best type of sound module to get....i make hip hop and rnb

D***** 

My Reply: 

Our rules are "one short reply to ONE question FOR NON-MEMBERS, Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' have unlimited personal access to Dec by direct telephone, Fax and Email , apply at https://secure.mistral.co.uk/makehits/swgappsecure.htm ".   

D*****

There is only one that all the Hip Hop guys use at the moment:  Yamaha Motif.

I use the rack mounted unit but they do a keyboard version .... All the great sounds, lots of 'specials' and great R&B plus Hip Hop drum sounds .... Even better when layered.  The pianos and strings are the 'best'.

The classic studio set up, at the moment, is Korg Triton keyboard and Yamaha Motif rack plus good Akai samplers.  Protools on Digidesign 003 running on a Mac G5 dual core platform.  With this set up a good mixing desk is essential ......... The low priced Behringer XENYX 2442FXPRO with on board FX is excellent ... It has a digital interface that comes with it, so a live mix can be sent direct from the desk to Protools.

As many compressors as you can afford are ESSENTIAL .... The low priced Behringer Muiltcomp [4 in one unit] is excellent.  The TLA Audio Fatman is the compressor of choice for Hip Hop.  Check out www.makehits.com/recordingguitar.htm to hear it working on just a talking voice and music .... Tasty!

As many FX units as you can afford .... The four in line type are best for studio work .... Alesis Quadraverb is still brilliant, Digitech 256 ... The Roland 3030 has RSS on board [all of these are dirt cheap on Ebay as guys don't know how powerful they are ... They never read the manual]

Yamaha NS10S monitors are still the Industry Standard .... Production has ceased but you can still pick them up .... Try the Studiospares look-alikes ... I recommend them and have never had a complaint.

The biggest monitor amplifier you can afford is ESSENTIAL .... I use a Yamaha 1,000 watts to drive mine ... Then I have the main big studio monitors and a pair of home type Hi Fi speakers ... So I can check the mix with differing sound sources.

Microphones are a matter of taste.  A decent microphone purely captures what is presented to it ... So if the singer or guitar player is amateur and cr*p ... no microphone will improve the sound.

This is just scratching the surface with studio knowledge .... The Serious Writers Guild is where all the proper PRO info. can be got!  'How To Make A $Million From Your Music", the ten month distance learning programme gets you membership  for Zip and my direct phone line straight to my studio desk. https://secure.mistral.co.uk/makehits/swgappsecure.htm
 
But before you start on any of this you need a properly sound proofed room and a recording space optimised for recording .... The equipment is useless without this.

Regards

DEC [Cluskey]
mailto:dec@makehits.com

https://secure.mistral.co.uk/makehits/swgappsecure.htm or fast cred*it card line: +44 1323.728005 or UK 01323.728005

Make it a Great Week  ...... 

Dec   contact Dec at dec@makehits.com  

================================= 

The gags: .....     Willie at it again! [  A Child? ]

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? "
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

" Yes ," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, " No ."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?" " Yes ."

"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, " No ."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

" Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ".

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

" No, he's busy ", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

" Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

" A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter ."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... "ME"