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'One Minute With Dec'

The widest read, 'delivered to your Email box', weekly music Ezine on the Music Net.

The Archive - '2'

A FREE service from 'The Serious Writers Guild' at MAKEHITS.COM

Written by Dec Cluskey with a little bit of help from his friends.

We do not condone any Music Scam on the Net

This Email first mailed to all Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' and subscribers to 'One Minute With Dec' on

16 Oct 05

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=================================

'One Minute With Dec'

"My Emails Are Written With Good Humour And Should Be Read With A Smile"

[-The views of any contributor to 'One Minute with Dec' are not necessarily the views of Dec Cluskey-]

"I received a letter from the BBC regarding the Education award

from the Fame Academy Bursary that you helped me on just over a month ago.

I got through to the next selection stage! They now want to hear some demo's.....aaaahhhh.....! " Harpal

MENU:

King Rat again?
What makes 100%?
What length should a CD be?
Support a Good Cause?
The Fifth Search Engine Optimisation tip
The Visual Laugh
Success Stories
Charts
Chart Comment
Subscriber's Section
The Gags

King Rat again?

Just when I thought I had reached breaking point in a life that runs at 2,000 miles a second .... I have been nominated to take control of the most elite Show Biz. Organisation in the World ...The Grand Order of Water Rats. Still, it is always true: "if you want something done, give it to a busy man".

For those who don't know of The Rats, simply check out www.GOWR.net . Started in 1889, it has had as members the greatest names ever in The Business. Giants like Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy ... right through to Matt Monro, Bob Hope, Michael Crawford ... then Brian May, Rick Wakeman, Mike Batt, Gordon Giltrap. Prince Philip, Prince Charles and Prince Michael are keen Rats.

I was King Rat in 1981 and what a honour it is to be nominated for that position yet again [it is highly unusual to be asked twice]. This is the highest honour in Show Business. It is awarded by Show Business for Show Business.

At any one time there are only about 140 in the world....so it is highly elitist. In it's entire 116 year history there have been a little over 800 Rats ... quite amazing. You would not believe the criteria involved to become a Member. You can always help and become involved as a 'Friend of the Water Rats' ... there are many music industry giants involved as 'friends' ... that gets you invited to some pretty amazing 'do's'. Check out http://www.gowr.net/Friends/friendsofthewate.html

" The most important thing is life is helping others to win...even if it means slowing your own race."

What makes 100%?

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE that 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over

100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

but

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

and, look how far ass kissing will take you

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that ... while hard work and knowledge will get you close and attitude will get you there, bullshit and asskissing will put you over the top.

" There is no better time to be happy than now - live and enjoy the moment - Gordon Giltrap

What length should a CD be?

You will remember last week I answered a question on how long a CD [for sale] should be.....I have just received some good interesting material:

I wrote: "There is no set time length for a CD .... other than the requirement
that a single CD should not be more than 30 minutes [may be slightly
wrong on this]"

Ian replied:

"It depends on how many tracks there are. You can either have up to three distinct tracks and a runtime of no more than 20 mins OR one track plus remixes thereof and a runtime of up to 40 mins.

http://www.theofficialcharts.com/ - see the 'chart rules' link.

Ian"

" A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one."

Support a Good Cause?

Hi Dec,

Latidos, a night of Latin sensory stimulation to raise money for Latin American street children, is happening on Thursday 20th October.

Headlining the night will be Colombia's hottest export, Roberto Pla - with full 17 piece big band - and his unique blend of salsa and Afro-Cuban jazz.

In room 2, Rhythms of the City - part of the Mercury nominated and BBC Award-winning Fire Collective, bring you an infectious samba set.

Throughout the night the floors will be alive with salsa, samba and capoeira dancers.

From 9pm, at Elysium, 68 Regent Street W1 (downstairs at Cafe Royale) www.elysiumlounge.co.uk

Recipient charity is CENIT http://www.cenitecuador.org/about.php

£20 tickets in advance or on the door.

www.ticketweb.co.uk or call 08700 600 100

**** Special promotion for Serious Writers Guild **********

Bring 4 people along and the fifth ticket will be issued free on the door.

£20 is a night out to us, but a lot more to homeless children. If you could therefore spread the word and get this out to as many people as humanly possible I will be forever indebted.

Hope to see you for a great night. Much love

Angela xxxx

"Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
recalled by their maker."

The Fifth Search Engine Optimisation tip:

For those with Music Web sites.

First tip I gave you was to link to successful sites relevant to what your site is hoping to achieve. You can do no better than link to us at our three sites: www.makehits.com/addurlcom.htm www.makehits.co.uk/addurl.htm and www.liveperforming.com

Many have done that ... you will notice the change in your search engine positions.

Next thing you have to look at is 'keywords'. Although many Internet Experts will disagree that the 'keywords' are important...I have a sneaky feeling they are. Attention to detail in the keywords has always worked for us.

The 'keywords' will be found in the source code [accessed on any Web Page by clicking on 'view' then 'source'. If you have taken my advice and bought a book on basic HTML language then you are more than likely quite enjoying this foray into the unknown.

The 'keywords' are the main words which are contained in the page. So, in theory, if a trawling the Internet looking for information on Hit Record Producers then the site that has that phrase in the 'keyboard' will be best in the search engines...that is the basic theory. Go to www.makehits.com and see this for yourself.

A good trick:

If you want your site pages to be 'keyword rich', then take all the keywords for your 'keywords' in the source code and construct a paragraph using all the keywords to make a coherent statement. To see this in action check out http://www.makehits.co.uk/links2.htm . there you will see a complete paragraph designed that way.

"There's only X amount of time. You can do whatever you want with
that time. It's your time." Lou Reed

The visual laugh

We all like a laugh, so each week I will give you a 'visual' laugh, just mouseclick on the link [don't forget to come back?]. This week a rude one....PLEASE if you are easily offended do not go there....it is extremely funny.

http://viral.lycos.co.uk/attachments/3939/Orgasmic_Simulator2.htm

"Hi Vicci,

I just wanted to let you know that I think you & Dec are doing a fine job helping songwriters & musicians.

I've been a member for quite a while now, and like I said, I thank you. Tim Madlem."

Success Stories:

Go to www.makehits.com/testimonials.htm also www.makehits.co.uk/applause.htm for stories that will amaze you and fill you full of hope for YOUR future.]

"Hey guys, just thought I'd let you know.

I have a half page 'Featured Demo' review of my song Neva Neva Neva on page 94 of November's Future Music magazine, which is available now. The track is also on the free CD.

Hope you're all well. "

Mick Lee . xxx

"Me, I've concentrated on music pretty much to the exclusion of
other things." Lou Reed

=====================

Charts:

USA [my thanks to Charles in the USA for supplying this]

(1) Gold Digger, Kanye West Featuring Jamie Foxx [Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam]

(2) Photograph, Nickelback [Roadrunner]

(3) Shake It Off, Mariah Carey [Island]

1) Sugababes - 'Push That Button'

2) Robbie Williams - 'Trippin'

3) Pussycat Dolls ft Busta Rhymes - 'Don't Cha'

Download Chart [now the most important chart in the UK]

1) Sugababes .... Push the Button [Universal Music]

2) Pussycat Dolls Ft Busta Rhymes .... Don't Cha (Universal Music)

3) Kanye West Ft Jamie Foxx .... Gold Digger (Universal Music)

"When everything's coming your way,

you're in the wrong lane."

Chart Comment:

My favourite band [production wise] - It's a double triumph for the Sugababes this week, as not only does 'Push The Button' clock up a third week at Number One on the singles chart but their new album 'Taller In More Ways' also charges in at pole position on the long players listing. This is the first time they have ever managed a Number One album, their previous best being 2002s 'Angels With Dirty Faces' which peaked at Number 2. I have advised so many music makers to buy this and use it as a yardstick for their own productions.

With the girls riding high at what is arguably the peak of their career so far, it is still worth marvelling that they are around to see this at all, having been dropped by London records after their first album in 2001 which failed to turn rave reviews into anything approaching decent sales. True, the production is a great deal better these days and maybe a slight shift in the direction of their material was needed, but the rise and rise of the Sugababes is a valuable lesson in long-term thinking which sadly it looks as if the record industry is going to continue to ignore for a long time to come.

"Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive!"

Subscriber's Section:

Bad experience given to a Member.

Hi Dec,

I've been offered an opportunity to be an assistant live sound engineer for a company called core creative on a part-time basis. I'm more interested in studio work but someone told me that live sound engineering could prove to be valuable experience and make me a better producer.

What do you think?

Kind Regards

J ** B *****

My Reply:

<<<<<<<<someone told me that live sound engineering could prove to be valuable experience and make me a better producer.>>>>>>>>>>

Absolutely not. Working for a live sound company will only teach all the bad habits. There are extremely few jobbing sound boys who know any theory whatsoever. they most probably started as humpers, loading the gear and just picked up bits of knowledge by chance. It is extremely easy to make a decent live sound with the gear available today ... but it still requires the mighty technical skills to make a Hit sound in the studio.

You must learn the theoretically best way to produce sound...then the latest and best professional studio sound producing equipment....computers [Macintosh] software [Pro Tools, Logic, Sonar]....sound modules, plug-ins......outboard sound modules.... FX and compressors then the most commercial chart techniques.....then producing to get the best out of the performer [through experience of seeing it done in a top studio . You cannot do that in a live environment.

A great studio producer will produce a great sound in a live venue...it does not work the other way around.

The guy who told you that is a 'jobbing' sound jockey, and would not know the first thing about producing a Hit record...he probably hates the chart.

Regards

DEC [Cluskey]

mailto:dec@makehits.co.uk

'Makehits Demo Consultation Service' the Industry Standard critique service used by the industry to tell will a project make money...Dec at his best! A full CD of Dec's comments plus a 17 page critique and a copyright certificate. Check out http://www.makehits.co.uk/demo.htm or call UK 01323.728005 [+44.1323.728005]

"Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird,
sleep late."

Regards

Dec

You may use any part of this 'One Minute' in your own publications...we simply require you to add:

Start ============

'One Minute With Dec' is written each week by Dec Cluskey. Dec's advice?

Get in touch personally to discuss what you want to achieve in music dec@makehits.com

web: www.makehits.com or call +44 (0)1323.728005

Finish===========

============================================

The gags: [ I'm going to get some 'shtick' for this ]

"GUTS" - is arriving home late after a night out with "The Boys",
being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to
ask: "Are you still cleaning, or... are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" - is coming home late after a night out with "The Boys",
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your
wife on the ass and having the balls to say "You're next !!"........

============================================

How to set up a Demo consultation with Dec?

The Professional service the Professionals use. Even available for voice and guitar!

Simply get in touch by Email - click this link: demo@makehits.co.uk and tell me that you want to send your material for a full critique and appraisal. We will then send you a unique PIN number to put on your letter or Jiffy Bag. This will ensure you get immediate attention. This is also for security reasons. We do not open unsolicited Jiffy Bags.

For full details click on this link: www.makehits.co.uk/demo.htm

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To pay by any other method please check out the payment methods on the secure page. Any queries re payment just contact me directly. I'll get back in touch with you within hours: dec@makehits.com

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Dec Cluskey
The Serious Writers Guild,
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Darley Road,
Meads,
Eastbourne BN20 7UH in the UK
Email: dec@makehits.com

Fax.: +44 (0)1323.729318

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