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The Archive - '2'
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Serious Writers Guild' at MAKEHITS.COM
Written by Dec Cluskey with a little bit of help from his friends.

This Email first mailed to all Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' and subscribers to 'One Minute With Dec' on
14 June 05
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'One Minute With Dec'
"My Emails Are Written With Good Humour And Should Be Read With A Smile"
[-The views of any contributor to 'One Minute with Dec' are not necessarily the views of Dec Cluskey-]
"Until you know that life is interesting - and find it so - you haven't found your soul."
geoffrey fisher
MENU:
Joe Brown and Dec with the Fender for the Auction.
Brendan Healy, Tim Healy [Auf Weidousein Pet] Brian Johnson [AC/DC] and Dec.
US Army Corps of Engineers
A life free from debt?Dishing out cash just doesn't seem to be as entertaining or even as simple as whipping out the plastic and signing away. But the privilege comes with a price otherwise known as interest and if you ever want to be free of debt there are a few things you need to know.1. The first, and most painful step, is to break out the scissors and hack all those beautiful cards to shreds.
Tell yourself that signing for anything you buy is simply not possible and thus the credit cards are not an option.
When the letters telling you that you have been "pre-approved" for some great card with no interest for six-months, just say "no". Most people with credit cards actually have ten cards or more but if you have no choice but to use one for business, keep that monster locked away in some deep dark place so that you can't get to it when tempted to make an impulse buy!2. Eliminate any all debt balances. Beginning with the lowest balance, start paying as much as possible until that balance reads zero. Now, take whatever you were paying each month on this card that you have just paid off and add that to the minimum payment of the next lowest balance until it, too, is paid off. Apply this formula to every card you have until you are finally free of credit card debt.3. Budgets are not the enemy, they are your friend!
Construct a monthly budget that realistically accounts for all of your bills and income. It is a good idea to allot some extra money for emergencies such as flat tires and also to put cash aside into a long-term savings arrangement. Aside from the mortgage and household bills, use greenbacks for all purchases because it will be more difficult to exceed your budget when buying groceries than if you still had your credit cards.Items you don't need are the enemy. If you want to buy something that costs more than $100, try giving yourself a "cooling off" period of 24 hours before actually making the purchase. Your spouse and you should support one another in adhering to the budget. The debt will disappear and the savings account will grow, giving you a great sense of accomplishment as you take control of your own fate. Make sure the children the very same self-discipline so that they, too, may know the rewards of a debt-free existence.
Paying cash for the things you buy is a kind of freedom and if you adhere to these principles it won't be too long before you can start buying the things you want.
A bit of game fun?
Here's a fantastic new game called F1 Pit
Stop Challenge. It's a reaction test game where you're got to drive into a
pit lane, change your tyres and get out as quickly as you can. The question
is, how quick are your reactions?
My best time is a pathetic 13.736 seconds and I'm 35579 in the world!...have
a go ... Go to http://www.pitstopgame.com
to play now.
To Mickey Strange [Serious Writers Guild Member]
I hope you find time to sleep and also I wanted to tell you that I went to that website you gave me and searched you online. But the awesome thing is that I listened to one of your songs and I absolutely loved it.Hope to hear from you soon,
~Angelina Jolie~PS Tell the kids I said hello.
Success Stories:
Go to www.makehits.com/testimonials.htm for stories that will amaze you and fill you full of hope for YOUR future.]
"I've found my way into an outfit called "Jay Scott" -- erm.. well, that is the name of the lead singer, and the band name until we can think of something better. Universal are sniffing around, and he [Jay] seems to be the sort of person that everyone can smell will succeed, if you know what I mean...
Watch this space!
Take care, Mike Renwick
=======================
ALZHEIMER'S EYE TEST
Count every " F" in the following text:
FINISHED
FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
(SEE BELOW)
HOW MANY ? ..................... 3?
WRONG,
THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF". Incredible or
what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.
=====================Charts:
USA [my thanks to Charles in the USA for supplying this]
(1) We Belong Together, Mariah Carey
(2) Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani (3) Just a Lil Bit, 50 Cent1) Crazy Frog - 'Axel F'
2) U2 - 'CITY OF BLINDING LIGHTS'
3)
Akon - ' Lonely'
We had quite a decent Chart show on Sundays in the UK.
In it's place now of course are two giggling imbeciles who use the show as much as a vehicle for themselves as it is for the music, spend half the show not actually doing the chart in the first place and then when they get round to it editorialising in the worst possible manner. Trust me, if there is one cardinal rule of doing a chart show it is respect the tastes of your audience - especially when it comes to the Number One single.
Said single is still Axel F, the official Crazy Frog record clocking up a third week at the top. I'm no big fan of it personally, I can't see a reason for its existence at all, but the computer printout I'm looking at at the moment tells me I'm in the minority. In fact so many people like it and find it appealing that it has outsold everything else on the market for the last few weeks, selling so many copies in the process that in that short time it has outsold virtually everything else this year to wind up as the second biggest seller of 2005.
I can scratch my head in bemusement but I sure as heck have to respect and acknowledge that. What I should never do of course is spend a chart countdown show rubbishing the track, hoping that it won't be Number One by the end and howling with frustration when I am forced to announce that my prayers have not been answered.
Tweedledee
and Tweedledum couldn't manage this of course and demonstrated just why their
show has gone so badly wrong.
Album to buy? Get the new Coldplay album...just one word....Wow!
Subscriber's Section:
To do covers or not?
"Hi Dec
We need your help
This is Y*** from Israel member of the serious writers guild
My question:
For our show We have 10 new songs (from the upcoming album) and 4 covers. My brother is the singer and he can perform the cover songs exactly as the original. For example he sings “I started a Joke” (bee gees) and he can sing as Robin and also he can sing it without imitate Robin.
What is your recommendation? To imitate the original Or not.Best Regards
Y*** Israel
Reply:
Hi Y***
<<<<<<<<<<,My brother is the singer and he can perform the cover songs exactly as the original. For example he sings “I started a Joke” (bee>>>>>>>>>>
Absolutely wrong.
By this time you should have a very distinctive, easily recognisable, 'sound' for the band. When you make a 'cover' it must sound in YOUR style, not the style of the original.
It is best to stay away from male songs. Always make covers of female songs, so they cannot be compared with the original male version. Simply change the words to male words .
Also - make sure that there is massive vocal arrangement [much more than the original] and lots of noise samples and filter sweeping. Those effects will definitely ensure that your 'cover' is not compared with the original.
If the original was guitar based then make the cover synth based...if the original was synth based then make your version guitar based. Also make sure to not study the original. Simply get the sheet music of the original [from the publishers or in a music shop...keep away from the Internet, the chord sheets are generally made up by amateurs, so you get their novice version]. This will ensure that you do not use the original recognisable feel.
Of course the best way to present a cover is accapella or with just a minimal acoustic 'today' guitar backing or a single synth...think of the famous Simon and Garfunkel concert in Hyde Park London....just the two of them and one guitar.
Regards
DEC [Cluskey]
dec@makehits.co.uk
"The worst crime is faking it"
kurt cobain
Regards
Dec
You may use any part of this 'One Minute' in your own publications...we simply require you to add:
Start ============
'One Minute With Dec' is written each week by Dec Cluskey. Dec's advice?
Get in touch personally to discuss what you want to achieve in music dec@makehits.com
web: www.makehits.com or call +44 (0)1323.728005
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The gags: [Willie is back on form!]
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks,
"Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
(I love this part....)
"Only when he's been drinking!
============================================
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