The widest read, 'delivered to your Email box', weekly music Ezine on the Music Net.
The Archive - '2'
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Serious Writers Guild' at MAKEHITS.COM
Written by Dec Cluskey with a little bit of help from his friends.

This Email first mailed to all Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' and subscribers to 'One Minute With Dec' on
06 Sept 2006
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'One Minute With Dec'
"My Emails Are Written With Good Humour And Should Be Read With A Smile"
[-The views of any contributor to 'One Minute with Dec' are not necessarily the views of Dec Cluskey-]
"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."
- Ronald Reagan
A warning if you are in Australia
If you see a band advertised as 'The Bachelors' touring in Australia Oct-Nov this year please be aware that this is a bogus band and not Con and I who made every one of The Bachelors' hit records. They are advertised at some venues as 'Hit Recording Stars' although the band have never had a hit in their lives. Strange?
The band is headed up by a bass player we dismissed in 1984... a long time ago. He is precluded by a High Court consent order from using the name 'Bachelors' or any "colourable imitation" ... so if you are in Australia and see the advertising ... be aware. He is obviously acting in contempt of court...a very serious offence.
Beware of impostors. If you feel you are being misled, simply inform the venue manager ... or the local newspaper or even the Advertising Standards Authority.
Having been plagued by this kind of deception for years I have come to hate anything to do with conning the public. Never be tempted to do it ... you sleep better at night. Be yourself at all times.
By the way, if you want to see Con and I sing the hits as they were recorded then come along to the wonderful Bournemouth International Centre in Bournemouth on the south coast of the UK this Friday ... check if there are seats first.
"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."
- Ronald Reagan
A great new actSometimes a new artist comes along and just has such originality and uniqueness. One at the moment is Corinne Bailey-Rae from Leeds in the UK. Her first single 'Put Your Records On' is absolutely stunning... in performance, style, production and certainly in vocal arrangement. Keep an eye and ear out for this girl...she will make a huge impact on our industry.
Get the record...study it, emulate it .... learn from it.
"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program."
- Ronald Reagan
So you thought you knew about computer viruses?
Why
you Should You Worry About A Malicious Code
by Johan G Tengstrom
A malicious code can be a program. It can also be a part of a program. Further, a malicious code can attach itself to a good program. In that way the malicious effect occurs first when the good program runs.
The last time
you installed a large software, let us say a photo program, you just executed
one command, for instance, INSTALL or SETUP. After that the installation program
took control, creating and deleting files. A few minutes later you have a lot of
new code and data installed. You had really no idea of what you had received.
Hopefully all you received was good and maybe it was. But think for a minute of
all the millions of byte that were transferred and all the modifications that
were made to the
existing files. And all this was going on without your consent or knowledge.
A malicious code can do anything other programs can. It can write a message on the computer screen, erase a stored file or stop a running program. Malicious codes can do different things every time. They can also do nothing most of the time and then suddenly act in a very dramatic way.
What is a malicious code? How is it possible that it can take control of a system? How can you recognize a malicious code? Is it possible to stop it? Let me try to give you some answers.
A malicious code is an undesired effect in a program or in a part of a program, caused by an agent intent on damage. A virus is a program that can pass on a malicious code to other good programs by modifying them. A virus “infects” a program by attaching itself to the program. Then the virus destroys the other program or it exists with it. Also, the good program can be modified. It then acts like a virus and starts to infect other programs. A transient virus acts when the attached program runs and terminates when the attached program stops. A resident virus locates itself in the memory of the computer and can remain active even if the attached program stops.
A Trojan horse is a malicious code that, besides its primary effect, even has a non-obvious effect. It can, for example, take the identification and password of a user, passes the identification information on to the rest of the system, but keeps a copy of the information for later use.
A logic bomb is a type of malicious code that goes off when a certain condition happens. A time bomb is a logic bomb, where the trigger is a time or date. A worm is a malicious code that spreads copies of itself through a network. The difference between a worm and a virus is that a worm operates through a network and a virus is spread through a medium, usually a copied program or data files.
The only way to prevent an infection by virus is to avoid sharing an executable code with an infected source. Of course, you cannot know which sources are infected; the best advice I can give you is to expect that any outside source is infected. The problem is that you cannot cut out all contact with the outside world. However, there are some techniques to obtain a fairly safe community for your contact with the outside world.
1. Use only
commercial software from established vendors.
2. Test all new software on an isolated computer.
3. Made a bootable disc and store it on a safe place.
4. Make backup copies of executable system files.
5. Use virus scanners regularly.
You can never be quite safe from a malicious code, but at least you have a good chance to diminish the harm if you follow these fairly simple rules.
Johan G Tengstrom http://www.nowlookfor.us
"I've laid down the law,
though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time
it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."
- Ronald Reagan
A good visual laugh? [this will amaze you - good weather forecasting?Check out this one...
"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
- Ronald Reagan
Tip of the Week
Saving Pictures
I'm sure you all know how to save pictures from web pages. You just right click the image and choose "Save Picture As..."
To find a specific image, go to your search engine and enter the keywords for what you are looking for. For example, if I were looking for pictures of mountains, I would go to Google and enter “mountain views” – then select images and save the ones I wish.
One word of caution however, while you can pretty much save anything you wish for your personal use, if you attempt to use it commercially be sure to get permission from the owner so you’re not in violation of any copyrights.
Did you know that you can do the same with pictures in your email? Just right click and choose "Save Picture As..." (Outlook Express 6.0) or "Save image as..." (Thunderbird/Netscape Mail)
Give it a name and location where you can easily find it.
In Eudora, you can copy it (Ctrl-C), open Windows Explorer and paste it (Ctrl-V) in the Folder you wish.
Bob Osgoodby
Success Stories
Hi Dec
Just been told that a song of mine is going to be used on a new TV show called Rob * Big Black ok'd by MTV and produced by the Jackass producer.
Arfon Williams
And Another:
Hello Dec
Am doing really well utilizing lots of tips from your advanced song writers course as well.
Writing party songs for various holiday parks around the Uk and having cd sales deals with them.
Nik Martin
And Another:
Hi Dec
I am a category winner in the UK Songwriting Contest 2006, with a new age classical called 'ONE FREE SPIRIT'. One of the prizes was an Honorary Diploma in Music from the World Music Foundation. WOW, what a fantastic phone call on the day you touch down from your holiday.
Holly Dip'.Music
"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".
=====================
Charts:
1) Justin Timberlake .... 'Sexyback'
(2) Fergie ... London Bridge ... A&M | Interscope
(3) Sean Paul Feat. Keyshia Cole .... (When You Gonna) Give It Up To Me ... VP |Atlantic
UK1) Justin Timberlake .... 'Sexyback'
2) Shakira ft Wyclef Jean .... 'Hips don't lie'
3) Beyonce Ft Jay-Z .... 'Deja Vu'
Download Chart [now the most important chart in the UK]
1) Scissor Sisters ... I Don't Feel Like Dancin' .... (Universal Music)
2) Beyonce Ft Jay-Z .... 'Deja Vu'
3) Snow Patrol .... Chasing Cars (Universal Music)
"In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Subscriber's
Section:
Hi Dec,
I sent a CD to you last week as you kindly agreed to review my acoustic material. Can you please confirm that you have received it safely?
More importantly... I was certain that Track One "Giving it all away" was a potential hit, and now I'm more convinced than ever. I have recently started to work with a singer/songwriter that I've known for a very long time, who has been slowly setting up a small pre-production studio at his home. I gave him a copy of the CD last week for him to play with, and the results are amazing! He's added some great production values including a beautiful string arrangement, a superbly catchy bass line and a great vocal arrangement!M***
My Reply:
Hi M***
Eventually got to your CD.... Sounds great, unusual 'today' voice.....extremely Dido with a male voice.
Just a couple of comments which will make your stuff much more commercial.
Despite what your pals will say [they've never had a hit record!] your stuff is at least four times 'wordier' than it should be. It is extremely hard for a punter brain to pick a memorable line from your lyrics.
You may be aware of the 29 words concept which I started about 9 years ago and now widely quoted and accepted through the industry. Most great classic toons have 29 differing words [yes, we know there are exceptions]. Unless it is a 'story' song, as most of Dido's stuff is and similar artists. Eminem etc.
Your sentiment is 'love song' mostly, which should be said in much fewer 'stronger' words, with one single strong line that CAN BE REPEATED FOREVER.
Your sentiment is not constant, in that, one song is almost a 'protest', 'you should do this' song [no one likes to be told what to do, by the way] another is semi love song...and by that time the listener doesn't know what to expect.
I would love to hear one of your new songs written with the 'Hit' concepts in mind
No more than 29 differing words
A great hook line that can be repeated and repeated and repeated and repeated and repeated and repeated
Words written with the concept of repetitive, hooky, vocal arrangement in mind...in other words, write the vocal arrangement as part of the song ['From The Heart' by Another Level? The 'model' that all great writers use]
ALL the words made up of 'love me up, lick me down' lyrics that are in 'boy to girl, girl to boy', talking in a dance club, words
A chorus hook that a bunch of girls in a pub could sing with no music, or sing on the coach from the airport to their hotels in Ibiza
A sentiment that brings a warm feeling, a good feeling going to work in the morning when you hear it on the breakfast show
The problem you have got, M***, is that you haven't yet got a commercial, 'make the money' attitude to writing and if you don't grab this quick you will always write 'poetry put to music'. A great danger!
Yep, I can hear you quoting abstruse tracks that fall into this genre...but I am in the business of showing you 'success' and the methods I advise will give a much higher percentage chance of success...otherwise, success will slip from your grasp and you will wonder where you went wrong...and end up at 47 years blaming the industry, the Record Companies, The TV, Radio, Film industry....and never, ever, realising that you should blame yourself...
By the way, Record Companies, A&R folk will never advise you in this way.
Write a commercial, sellable to 12-18 year olds, Top three Potential Hit song.
No amount of Production can turn a non-hit into a hit...the Hit has to be there in the first place....there is a huge danger in hooking up with a 'music making' guy who hasn't a clue about Hit Record production...he will be enamoured with his music production, you will be enamoured by your poetry and voice....BUT....neither of you will think like the twelve year old in 'Our Price' with her £3.99, deciding whether to buy Scissor Sisters or your record.
YOU CAN'T FOOL 12 YEAR OLDS!
And before you say it:- "The adult record buying public is a figment of a bad writer's imagination"
Regards
DEC
[Cluskey]
mailto:dec@makehits.co.uk
Just
released:- "57 Secrets of a Hit Record" ... - 260 pages of the
Secrets plus the CDrom Analysis Software and Audio CD to ensure that your music
is a Potential Hit www.makehits.com/57Secrets.htm
or call UK 01323.728005 [+44.1323.728005]
Dec
============================================
The gags: ..... Women's Parable One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No."
The
Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with
sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again,
the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is
this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied,
"Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Johnny Depp. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, dear Lord this is only a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Johnny Depp, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. ! Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Johnny Depp." And so the Lord let her keep him.
The
moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honourable
reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're
sticking to it.
Signed:- a really good Woman.
============================================
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