(2) Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani

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Doing the gig of a lifetime?  The big chance?  Read on......

"Dec - just thought I'd drop you an E-mail to let you know the band I'm drumming with has just been booked to support American Head Charge in August.

We got this gig through our lead singer knowing the organiser for the UK leg of the tour, but I could now do with some guidance with regards what steps to take to make sure not only that the performance is tight, but also that the financial and logistical side runs smoothly.

At present we don't have a manager; would it be a good first step to find a manager suited to our style of music (a cross between emo, hardcore and trance, with a distinct indie vibe)? What payment can we expect per gig, and what insurance, etc will we need to invest in before the gig?

Obviously, on the performing side new sets of guitar strings and new drum heads are a must, as well as clean cymbals and guitars; but what else can you recommend we do to make sure that this is the gig that sets us firmly on the path to success?

Many thanks, A***"

Hi A***

You have the conception totally wrong!

<<<<<<<<to take to make sure not only that the performance is tight>>>>>>>>

I feel you should realise that the 'big boys' don't just rely on 'tight'.  You MUST have an added instruments track running with the live band to ensure that all the samples/tricks/unique effects/additional instruments/added vocal arrangement to those on stage.... to make sure you have your own unique, never heard before, sound.

It is NOTHING to do with 'tight'.  Check The Brits, Grammys ... check any MTV chart clip or TOTP's [Top of the Pops].

Sadly, like a lot of guys, you may have read my stuff and treated it like nice bedtime reading...it is far too late now to start implementing all the methods...but you could try.

<<<<<<<<<would it be a good first step to find a manager suited to our style of music >>>>>>>>

Under no circumstances!  You must get the success YOURSELF.  The great managers will find you very quick!  At the moment you have nothing for a manager to manage?  Again a common misconception in our business.  It is YOU that has to have the success...the manager can't get it for you.  He is a manager...and a manager manages!

The only manager you will find at the moment is an inexperienced twit who knows nothing about this business....but thinks it might be fun and an easy way to make a fortune.  It is neither of those.

<<<<<<<<<<What payment can we expect per gig, >>>>>>>>

You will be lucky to get paid at all...it will probably cost you...in digs [hotels], greasing the palm of the tour sound engineer [you would be advised to tour the best recording sound engineer, who knows your stuff - not the typical 'live' sound boy....useless!].  A reputable promotion company putting on a tour would normally sort a split with the record company who will pay expenses for the support band.

If the headlining band are not supported by the record company, then it is generally the promoters who would negotiate with you...again all the negotiating skills are outlined in 'How To Make A Million'

<<<<<<<<<what insurance>>>>>>>>

Membership of The Musicians Union automatically gives you 7Mill UKP public liability insurance which the promoter will demand to see.  He will also demand to see all the PAT [Portable Appliance Test] stickers for all electrical equipment.

<<<<<<<<<<<will we need to invest in before the gig?>>>>>>>>>>

If you haven't got the designer outfits then it is a little late to start finding a designer.  Again, it is too late for 3 months of power walking, gym sessions, 3 sessions at the tan shop, 3 visits to Toni and Guys....manicures, pedicures, skin toning with lots of facials.....plus the teeth.

All the big boys understand all this stuff....all the outfits you see on Telly or at awards shows or major tours are designed and blended by top experts....the band's job is to LOOK THE BUSINESS.  And no matter what type of music you play, that is the name of the game....great stage looks and presentation do not happen by accident.

The other investment is in staging and choreography .... check out Greenday, MacFly, Busted....then go on to Black Eyed Peas, Outkast.  They are all staged and choreographed to death!  Check out the 'One Minute' of the past ....go to www.makehits.com/archive2.htm for that last one.

<<<<<<<<<<< but what else can you recommend we do to make sure that this is the gig that sets us firmly on the path to success?>>>>>>>>>

I would study 'How To Make A Million From Your Music' and I would immediately get 'The Art of Live Performing' at www.liveperforming.com.

You only get one chance in this game usually....and only 3% of bands/artists are even vaguely prepared......are you going to be in the 97%?

This business is 80% visual and only 20% music.....despite what all your unsuccessful pals and probably your band mates say.....the music is the pig easy bit.

It is only the tiny percentage who go the extra mile who even have a chance of success.

"A wise man learns from experience, but a wiser man learns from the experience of others"

Regards

DEC [Cluskey]
dec@makehits.co.uk

One day God calls down to Noah and  says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want - after all you're the guv'

But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I don't want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!" screams Noah "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"

 "Yep, that's right, well. Sort of right. This time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.

 "Fish?" queries Noah.

 "Yep, fish. Well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"

 Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"

"Check".

 "With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"

 "Check".

 "And you want it full of Carp?"

 "Check".

"Why?" Asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.

(Scroll down everyone! It's the best ever !!!!)

"Dunno", says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark".