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'One Minute With Dec'

The widest read, 'delivered to your Email box', weekly music Ezine on the Music Net.

The Archive - '2'

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Written by Dec Cluskey with a little bit of help from his friends.

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This Email first mailed to all Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' and subscribers to 'One Minute With Dec' on

05 April 06

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=================================

'One Minute With Dec'  

"My Emails Are Written With Good Humour And Should Be Read With A Smile"

[-The views of any contributor to 'One Minute with Dec' are not necessarily the views of Dec Cluskey-]  

 

 "Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented.
It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
" 

 

  • So we should have had a bet on 'Crazy'?
  • Member's Charity Show for Rotary International
  • Death of The Internet? 
  • Are your guitar / keyboard leads good enough? 
  • A good visual laugh? 
  • Tip of the Day  [ History File]
  •  Success Stories  [had to add an extra one!]
  •  Charts
  • Subscriber's Section  [is your voice supposed to be strong?]
  • The Gags  [ Not another blonde gag? ] 
So we should have had a bet on 'Crazy'?
 
What a phenomenon to happen in the UK.  A track went to number One in the main chart without having been officially released: Gnarls Barkley .... Crazy ..... (Warner Music)  Blew everyone away and has certainly changed thinking as regards downloads.
 
Of course, it has to be said that the track is quite stunning and everyone in the know knew that it would hit the top.  We should have put money on it?  Yep.
 
Strange thing is that the track has been around for quite a while.  I even had it on a download compilation that a local restaurant was playing... I heard it, felt the little Goosebumps that you always feel when a Hit track comes on for the first time and just had to ask the DJ who it was.  This is ages ago.  So it just proves that a Hit track is a Hit track...yes?
 
It completely blows the oft heard moan out of the water:  "ah mate, the industry control everything...they just tell the punters what to buy and they buy it".  How many times have I heard that?  Just a few.  Always from disgruntled musos who couldn't tell a hit if it hit in the face as they walked down the street.
 
Member's Charity Show for Rotary International
 

Middlesbrough Eerimus Rotary Club in the UK are staging a musical event from which proceeds will go to Zoe’s place baby hospice and other Rotary charities.

 

The event will feature “Talon” best of the Eagles tribute

 

Remember the hot Summer of ’76 and the cool sounds of Hotel California playing down the radio?

 

The legendary sounds of the Eagles are faithfully and brilliantly recreated by “Talon”

 

The event is being staged at Middlesbrough Theatre the avenue Middlesbrough on Tuesday may 9th

 

Tickets  £14 from the box office 01642 81 51 81

    "It is impossible to lick your elbow." [I bet you tried?]
Death of The Internet?
 

The death of the Internet? It happened in 1994 when the Internet as we knew it was replaced with the World Wide Web.
You may not realize it, but the Internet started in 1963 as ARPAnet - an Advanced Research Program of the US Military.
 
   It was designed to get messages through, no matter what happened or which computers (& areas) were no longer accessible. Over time their suppliers were added in, then the Universities & Libraries, and eventually the world.
 
   There were no graphics then - everything was done in UNIX commands. By the 80's, I could visit the CERN labs in Switzerland, Chiba University in Japan, and the archives of the University of New South Wales in Australia, find and download the info I wanted and be done in 20 minutes...  All with a 2400-baud dial-up modem! No wonder we referred to WWW as the 'World-Wide-Wait' when it first launched!
 
   Suddenly we were thrust into an arena of brilliant graphics, flashing text & a whole lot of really ugly designs. Great...  Not!
 
   In the 12 years since then, everything has evolved. No one could foresee how HTML would evolve, languages like PHP and Java would enter into it, modems would go from 2400 baud to broadband - or the rise of entities like Yahoo! and Google.  It's SO different we really shouldn't even refer to it as the Internet any more.
 
   Everything since 1994 has just been incremental - little steps that constantly upgraded the user experience. Overall they had a major impact, but not any one step itself.
 
   The next MAJOR change is already underway, though really just taking it's first steps. This year, 2006, will see the first real strides in converting the Web to an audio-video universe - complete with infomercials & all.  Broadband available while you walk down the street?  Just like Satellite TV?  It's coming soon.  Has to.

 

  "Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury." 
  

Are your guitar / keyboard leads good enough?
 
I've just been putting the finishing touches to my band's latest album and the same old problem reared it's ugly head.  Noise being picked up from the equipment around the studio.
 
My studio, although massively powerful is still small by standards....it's in one of the lofts of my house.  Brilliant sound, quite the best I have ever worked in, but still has that induced noise problem.
 
The problem will always be there with the high impedance leads we all use...they pick up any kind of radiation like fluorescent lights, computer screens etc.  If you have that problem, especially on a blazing high distort guitar sound, I would suggest you invest in a very high quality guitar lead or make one up your self with Quad audio lead [Two positives, two negatives and screen]  The two positives go to the positive of the jack and the two negatives are joined with the screen and connected to the negative of the jack.  Use as little solder as possible.
 
Normally in a studio you should find the quietest place [by experimentation] ... sometimes it is simply a case of angling the guitar.  I have the quiet spot marked on the floor of my studio and have a facility to switch off all the unnecessary equipment, all at once, when I do a 'take'.
 
Mark the 'quiet spot and always use it.  If you use a three or five pole switch on your guitar, then find the quietest ones and use them.  Generally on a Fender 5 position switch it will be either the 'in-phase' positions or the 'out of phase' positions that cause a problem....I have never gone into the reasons why ... I just know there is a problem and work around it.  My Les Paul guitar, for instance creates extremely low noise...even on full distort.
 
When I record guitar I also switch off the screen monitor.  I also have a lo-light system to switch on so the fluorescents are not on when I record.
 
It is also important to position the amp / module in the quietest place...they can also cause radiation problems.
 "Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better." 
 
A good visual laugh?
 
Check out this very funny Jpeg picture:
 
 
"Coca-Cola was originally green." 
 
Tip of the Day
 
History File
 
Every time you visit a web site, your browser stores the site address (and all the pages visited on that site) in a history file. This comes in really handy when you're trying to remember that great site you were visiting the other day, or if you want to check up on what sites were visited by your kids.
 
In both Netscape and Internet Explorer you can hit CTRL+H to view history.
 
Bob  Osgoodby 
 
"The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000" 
 
 
 
 Success Stories [had to add an extra one!]
 
Go to www.makehits.com/testimonials.htm also www.makehits.co.uk/applause.htm for stories that will amaze you and fill you full of hope for YOUR future.]
 Hi Dec 
 
I've been reading your book "57 Secrets Of A Hit Record", great work by the way, I'm learning so much, its definitely created a lot more certainty for me!  
  
Elliot Sadoudi (Serious Writer's Guild Member).
 
And...........
 

Hi Dec

Just writing to say that the remix of Heaven 17 "Hands Up to Heaven" went to number 42 at the dance airplays charts. The single features a remix I did.

How many guys do you know appear at the Billboard charts?

Again thanks for your advice,

Emiliano Canal

 "Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair."
   =====================

Charts:

USA [my thanks to Charles in the USA for supplying this]

(1)  Daniel Powter ..... Bad Day ...  Warner Bros.   |  DIGITAL 

(2) Sean Paul .... Temperature ....  VP   | Atlantic
  
  
(3) Ne-Yo .... So Sick ....Def Jam   | IDJMG

UK

1) Gnarls Barkley .... Crazy ..... (Warner Music)

2Ne-Yo .... So Sick ....Def Jam   | IDJMG

3Morrissey ... You Have Killed Me

Download Chart  [now the most important chart in the UK] 

1Gnarls Barkley .... Crazy ..... (Warner Music)

2) Orson .... No Tomorrow ... (Universal Music) 

3) Embrace ... Nature's Law ... (Sony BMG Music)

 

"The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer"  
 

Subscriber's Section:

  Here is a question re  the equipment for a basic live performing set-up:

Hi Dec...

Hi Dec, I have been back and forth to your website for a while now, its great, I was wondering in all your many replies to people if you could spare 5 minutes to help me out with a little problem.
 
I cannot project my voice, it is something I have been struggling with for many years and so far found no answers too, not even from my voice coach. my throat goes all tight and restricts sound coming out when I try to project or go too high up the scales, the only answer I have had to this other than sorry can't help you is that it may be the very back of my tongue tensing, that's it, no '' and you could sort it out by doing this that and the other '', or '' try this ''. I wondered if you possibly might have an answer or suggestion as to how I might improve this problem.

Thank you in advance

K***** - Avid reader of Your  ' One Minute With Dec '

My Reply:   

Hi  K*****

Be assured you have no problem whatever.

It would be impossible for your next door neighbour to enter for the Olympics as a sprinter and beat the top world class sprinters.  Similarly it would be impossible for YOU to come on stage with my band and have a practiced voice [note the word 'practiced'] better and stronger than myself and my brother or the back singers.

Your perceived problem is simple.  You simply do not gig....in other words, sing live in front of an audience 3/4 times a week.  Just like the sprinters who practice hard in real conditions all day ... and compete in serious competition each week.

Having said that, what we look for in a voice is experience and tricks ... we call it vocal movement.  Like Christina Aquilera [check out the old hit: 'Beautiful'.....a great example.]  Barbra Streisand has a particularly quiet voice..... I don't have a 'big' voice but it sounds huge [or as big as I want it to be] on record.

In a sarcastic sense, we have massive sound systems available these days.  It is microphone technique that is needed rather than a huge classical voice.

Vocal coaches in the UK are less than useless to give you these skills.  They prepare singers for the West End or Broadway ... a tiny career opportunity. In 'How To Make A $Million From Your Music' I give what is recognised as the best way to acquire the necessary skills.  And that is nothing to do with projection etc.  https://secure.mistral.co.uk/makehits/swgappsecure.htm

Projection, today is totally unnecessary...it is modern day Soul, Hip Hop, R&B voice that is required. In fact, essential.  that sort of influence is essential even for the Katie Melhua, Kelly Clarkson, Coldplay, Greenday even.

Let us have your postal address and we will send an info pack on what we do.

P:S: the only 'aid' that a pro singer will ever use ....which is great when we have a cold or flu, is a glass of Port.....excellent..works every time.  Just one, mind you.

Regards

DEC [Cluskey]
mailto:dec@makehits.co.uk

Just released:- "57 Secrets of a Hit Record" ...  - 260 pages of the Secrets plus the CDrom Analysis Software and Audio CD to ensure that your music is a Potential Hit  www.makehits.com/57Secrets.htm
or call UK 01323.728005 [+44.1323.728005]

Regards

Dec 

You may use any part of this 'One Minute' in your own publications...we simply require you to add:

Start ============

'One Minute With Dec' is written each week by Dec Cluskey. Dec's advice?

Get in touch personally to discuss what you want to achieve in music dec@makehits.com

web: www.makehits.com or call +44 (0)1323.728005

Finish===========

============================================

The gags: .....      Probably a true story? 
 

As a trucker in Essex stops for a red light, a blonde in her car pulls up alongside.  She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck and knocks on the door.  The trucker lowers his window, and the blonde says "Hi, my name is Sharon and you are losing some of your load". The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

 

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.  Again, the trucker lowers the window.  As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Sharon, and you are losing some of your load!"  

 

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.  

 

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window.  Again she says "Hi, my name is Sharon and you are losing some of your load!"  

 

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light.  

 

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says  "Hi, my name is Tony and I'm driving a gritting lorry!"


============================================

How to set up a Demo consultation with Dec?

The Professional service the Professionals use.  Even available for voice and guitar!  

Simply get in touch by Email - click this link: demo@makehits.co.uk and tell me that you want to send your material for a full critique and appraisal. We will then send you a unique PIN number to put on your letter or Jiffy Bag. This will ensure you get immediate attention. This is also for security reasons.  We do not open unsolicited Jiffy Bags.

For full details click on this link: www.makehits.co.uk/demo.htm


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Dec Cluskey
The Serious Writers Guild,
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