• Check out Dec and Victoria on 'Trisha' this Friday morning
• A  word of advice for sound engineers?  [ Boy, was I right to be worried ] 
• My Local Music Store is Tops! [ my pals get awarded ]
• Pro Tools 7.4 passes 10,000 download mark  [ The only serious virtual studio to use ] 
• Success Story  [ A humbling thank-you ]
• Subscriber's Section  [ Pitching a song to Cliff Richard and the Ronnie Drew Tribute]
• The gags: .....       [ Whoops? ] 

Check out Dec and Victoria on 'Trisha' this Friday morning

10.30am Channel 5 this Friday, 7th March in the UK. Trisha Goddard invited my daughter, Victoria, to talk about her two years of being stalked and the subsequent court case.  I was asked to give my comments on the fine line between over enthusiastic fan adoration and stalking/pestering attention.  It will give you an insight into the way a fan's mind works and how a stalker can seriously interfere with life.

A  word of advice for sound engineers?  [ Boy, was I right to be worried ] 

You will remember in my last 'One Minute' I said I was performing on one of the huge ships on a cruise through the Caribbean?

I was genuinely worried about the standard of sound engineering, the guitar equipment that would be supplied and the musicians.

Let me say that the cruise was sensational ... stunning, monstrous ship, food was yummy, fabulous sound system, the Irish musicians on board were to die for.  The weather was as good as I have ever seen and the islands we visited were an inspiration.  Check out MV.Westerdam on Holland America Line ... you may fancy a cruise ... or check out Gertrude Byrne Promotions to book a forthcoming Irish cruise - stunning!  http://www.gertrudebyrnepromotions.com/  25 major Irish artists with probably 50 musicians.   Gertrude certainly knows how to give value for money. 

I will now write a book for aspiring sound engineers.  In my opinion, it is the one career that practically anyone can drop into and make a passable job of it.  However, when dealing with top recording artists and performers a whole different set of rules apply ... for instance:

1) Practice saying the word 'certainly' three hundred times a day - so that when asked for any requirement by an artist you will automatically say 'certainly' and make sure to deliver the requirement without question ... this is based on the shop principal of "the customer is always right".  Remember that the artist may have released 69 albums to date, recorded and produced 587 tracks, sold 27 Million records and had dozens of hits, gold and platinum throughout the world!  He also may have written 15 major books on the subject of music/sound/performing/recording.

2) Learn the 'theory' of mixing correctly.  Very few self taught engineers or guys who pick up the trade through mates and hanging around live performances will have any clue about the correct theory of sound engineering.  The theory is based on 'unity mixing' or 'balanced mixing' or 'straight fader mixing ... there are loads of different ways of putting it.  Basically, a mix is created on the input gains so that all the faders are in a perfect straight line at 0db.  The foldback/monitors similarly are all at the same gain.  This is correct for digital desks as well.  This ensures:

a) The mix in the front of house PA will be the same in the monitors [if a full mix is required - if not the instruments not required in the monitors are simply turned down on the monitor busses.

b) The only change that the engineer will have to make is to raise or turn down the entire monitor mix level - always controlled by a single control.  The monitors are checked for full level prior to the show in full operational mode - thus no feedback ever.

c) It also means that if the engineer drops dead before the show, a professional sound engineer can be called in who will instinctively put all the faders to 0db in a straight line, as that is the correct way the desk should be set up.  As the pro's will always say: "0db is a good place to start"

3) Never ask an artist to sound check his own or any of the band's mics.  Always hand the artist/artists perfectly balanced microphones, all at the same level and all with identical EQ and effects.  The short sound check is then just for fine tuning or tweaking and NOT for trying to get equipment to work..

4) Always be courteous and NEVER make comment in public about any artist you are working with.  Confident in their own skills, nice, smiling, friendly and accommodating engineers will be sought after and never be a day out of work!

These four points are well known and observed by all top sound engineers throughout the world.  You can tell that I have a lot of stories to tell about sound engineers ... especially on cruise ships?  Should I tell you about standing on stage for 45 minutes saying 1,2,3 into the mic. ..... for 45 minutes?  While the engineer tried to figure out how to get two mics. working on the digital desk?

By the way, the Boss guitar pedal did it's job beautifully .... I was not supplied with the amp. requested, in fact there was no amp supplied [get out of that?] so the Boss GT8 saved my life.  If you are asked to gig or perform overseas I would strongly recommend it.  Even through the Peavey bass amp, I eventually had to use, it sounded reasonable.  The other two guitar players used them as well ... and another used the Zoom equivalent [not as poky].

 My Local Music Store is Tops! [ my pals get awarded ]

Bonners Music - voted Best Independent Music Retailer by the MIA in 2006 and 2007 - is the UK’s largest independent musical instrument shop offering an extensive selection of musical instruments within its 10,000sqft music instrument shop located on the south coast in Eastbourne. Whatever musical instrument you are looking for, you can be sure of receiving unparalleled knowledge and award winning service from Bonners Music.” 

And obviously, the website address is: http://www.bonnersmusic.co.uk 

For the innovative music school side http://www.bonnersmusic.co.uk/info/Music_School

 "Question: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving."