The widest read, 'delivered to your Email box', weekly music Ezine on the Music Net.
The Archive
A service from 'The Serious Writers Guild' at MAKEHITS.COM Written by Dec Cluskey with a little bit opf help from his friends.
This Email first mailed to all Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild' and
subscribers to 'One Minute With Dec' on 08.12.02
=================================
"My Emails are written in good humour, and should be read with a smile"

What a night...The BBC TV Number One Party....
UB40 guys, Ali and Robin Campbell with Dec and Vicci Esselle
The entry ticket clearly stated that you had to have at least one Number One to get in....Wow! What a night...what an after show party!
I had no idea that Ali Campbell and his brother Robin had modelled all the UB40 harmonies on my brother and I...what a compliment. Ali nearly fell over when he saw me...and we grabbed the quick pic above. Nancy Sinatra....what an honour to meet her, and she insisted on a pic. Gosh, she looks good for her age [what a terrible thing to say!] I'll try to include it next week.
'Blue' were fantastic guys...never met them before - and Westlife [Irish, of course!]. Plus the usual gang, Will Young, Gareth Gates. 'Liberty X' proved what a good talent they are. 'Madness', Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel, Adam Faith showed that the old guard are still as relevant.
Back musicians are so important to your career:
All of the back musicians and singers proved that it is 100% important to have total performers behind you. It is just not good enough today to be a good or a great musician - you have to have that 'magic' that makes a great performer. Every musician involved with the show proved that.
Jet was sitting right behind
me....
I turned to Tony Meehan and asked the immortal
question: "Do you see Jet at all?". He hid his
thumb and gestured to the seat beside him. Gosh - has Jet Harris
changed or what? Tony was the drummer with the original 'Shadows'.
Jet was the bass player. Bruce Welsh and Hank Marvin actually owned the
band, the copyright to the name...smart kids. They hired in a bass player
and drummer. Could you learn something there? I tell all members of
'The Serious Writers Guild' how to protect themselves right
through their career. Yep, I was burned badly by a partner situation....so
I know the whole deal!
Bruce Welsh came over and shook Jet's hand....I thought that
was nice.
We go back a long time, I first appeared
with Adam at The Theatre Royal in Dublin [the biggest theatre in Europe 3,097
seats] when I was fourteen years of age...now Tony Blackburn...he insisted on
giving me the REAL inside stories of the "I'm a Celebrity...get me
out of here". Call me....I'll tell ya!
I couldn't
believe the guys just walking up to me as if I was a God!
However we were
all disappointed with the very few audience shots. BBC don't do it as well
as London Weekend ['Audience With ---']. In fact we were all a bit
miffed....I grabbed Dale Winton between takes of the show to get him to announce
guys who he had missed [Tony and Jet...Clem Cattini played on 42 Number
Ones, East 17, The Blockheads, Gina Gee, Sonia]
I had a wonderful chat
with Freddie Marsden [Gerry's brother] got the real story on their
break-up....sad. Being Irish I hate to see family feuds. I begged
him to keep trying to smooth the water...he said he would.
The weirdo
Pete Burns from 'Dead or Alive' ... in a dress with strange friends and lips with
two cows-full of collagen injected....he got right up my nose...kept telling me
my hair was too grey [it's carefully colour managed, by the way]. Limahl from 'Kajagoogoo' was great...Bewitched, A1, Aswad, Elaine Paige, Chip Hawkes
plus his son Chesney Hawkes [Chesney has written loads of mega hits for
today's Stars]...the list goes on forever....probably the best gathering of
recording stars ever.
Who stole the show at the after show VIP
bash? My Victoria [Vicci Esselle]. Four individual guys came up to
me and said that...it genuinely was a case of: "Who is
That?????" She went off with a gang from "Eastenders".
I just stuffed a load of money in her hand and told her to be careful...isn't
that what Dads are for? She had a ball
Just check out this article
BILL PADLEY & JEREMY GODFREY [producers of 'Whole Again']
I cannot believe that two guys could do an interview and confirm so many of my techniques that I give Serious Writers Guild members are smack on the button... click on: http://www.sospubs.co.uk/sos/jun01/articles/tracks-atomic.asp The two guys who produced Atomic Kitten 'Whole again' spill the beans on how they put it all together. Fascinating stuff...they work almost precisely the same way that I work...the way the 'big boys' do....mind you, I always forget that I'm a 'big boy' [grin!]
Check out:
"If you're a producer, you're not doing it to show off. You're doing it to make the best of somebody's song, whether it's yours or somebody else's. If you spend eight quid on a lobster, and you've taken it home, and you've boiled it up, and you've thrown shitloads of tomato sauce on top of it, going 'This'll be lovely!', you have not made the best of the lobster. Right? Identify what it is that makes lobsters nice to eat, and deal with that. So 'Whole Again' is a lobster. And all we've done is grilled it with a bit of cheese. And it's lovely."
Has the UK Government gone mad?
The Socialist Government in the UK has long had an image of being involved with Rock 'n Roll. Lots of Stars are invited to Number 10 [the home of the Prime Minister]. He even strums a mean Strat.
But, now that the details of the new Licensing Laws in the UK are being released, he is seen to be heading for a wholesale slaughter of our industry. He will tax venues out of existence. Here is what a member says:
Hi Dec
I'm usually cautious on the internet as a source of objective information, but as I have read and heard mutterings already about the following I think it worth passing on to you and the 'One Minute' guys, if you have not already heard about it. We are obviously very concerned and thought others would be as well.
This country has a rich history of live musical entertainment, which is already under serious assault from commercial pressures. It is in the local pubs and clubs that tomorrow's talent hone their craft.
Imposing the legislation, as described, can serve no one well, from struggling artist through public venue to audiences already starved by the broadcast media of anything original.
Not only should this be nipped in the bud, but measures investigated to make it EASIER and CHEAPER for those with ability to perform as well as those with an interest in being entertained being able to get to see them.
Kind regards,
Peter Martin
Firebird Music
The proposals in Culture, Media and Sport
Secretary Kim Howells' new Licensing Bill, published a couple of weeks ago, will
mean that soon you will need a licence (cost £100 -£3,000) to perform music of
any kind almost anywhere!
What's more, anyone
caught giving an unlicensed performance (and that could even include you and
your family singing "Happy Birthday" to your granny at a party in a restaurant!)
will be liable for prosecution and a heavy fine or even a jail
sentence!
PLEASE
HELP US FIGHT THIS CRAZY PROPOSAL BEFORE IT'S TOO
LATE!
TAX ON ENTERTAINMENT
Proposed new law
will effect everyone
Recently there have been press headlines about the
Government's proposals to abolish the restriction on pub opening hours. At last
we will fall in line with just about every other country in the world.
Hurrah!
But before you cheer too loudly, there is a sting in the tail and
a nasty one at that. It lies in the less publicised parts of "The Licensing
Bill" currently before Parliament.
At the same time as revising the law
on pub opening, the Government is proposing to tidy up the situation on
entertainment licenses which is riddled with anomalies; but rather than making
the situation better, the proposed bill makes it far worse.
For a start,
all the pubs and clubs that have 'got away' without needing a Public
Entertainment Licence in the past because they've never had more than 2
musicians appearing at the same time will need a licence in the future. The
two-in-a-bar rule was a long outdated regulation and needlessly restricted live
music performance but what it is being replaced with will limit live music still
further. [boring subject but very important...a little more next
week]
I get loads of demos:
Would you like to hear my reaction to a typical demo? It will give you a real feel of the proper reaction that a record company should give and not the usual: "Very nice, not quite what we are looking for at the moment...kind regards"
Morning Dec,
You heard the basic song some months ago, and gave it your approval.
It would be nice for the likes of Westlife or any other major band to do it, but the reality is that there is more chance Everton winning the European Championship!! I have oodles of songs coming out of me, mostly ballads, and I want to get a move on.
Marvin Ruffin is a black American, who sings on the North West club circuit. You have heard his voice on the CD. He does about four gigs a week around the northwest. I have had a meeting with Cameo studios....they are local but very professional. They have done classics and ballads before, and have worked with the Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra. I am their lawyer and they are going to produce etc with Marvin doing the singing.
I am then going to try and get as much publicity locally...Marvin will, each night he sings, introduce it as his latest single. I will then see what the local stations will do for me. The song and sound is very playable, and I am hoping that it will attract local interest.
I will have to recruit a distributor, and basically be my own record label.
As I say I must start somewhere....I really would just like some sort of song writing contract, as the songwriting is my strength, and let other people get on with marketing and promotion, but then again we can dream.
Warmest regards,
Bob.
Can you guess my reaction?
Bob....
This all worries me....[for your sake!]
Marvin has not got the greatest 'today' voice. Just be careful. Club singers, generally, are club singers - and rarely have the voice for today's 'pop'.
It worries me, also, that you are being 'sucked in' to a studio situation. You mention Liverpool Philharmonic but 'How many number Ones have the studio had?' That is the real question...with no 'if's and but's'......it all sounds very much to me like they have seen the size of your cheque book.
Also - you make no mention, whatever, of 'The best producer you can afford'. Studios have engineers and studio owners who would like to be known as producers...THEY ARE NOT. Again the magic question: "how many Number Ones have you produced?"
Bob, this all sounds like you have extracted [from my 'Serious Writers Guild' releases] what you conveniently want to hear and not what 'has to be done, for success'....BE CAREFUL!
PS: your last paragraph is 'pie in the sky'...does not happen....just like a lawyer saying he just wants to be a silk [with none of the study and experience required]..... "I just want to do the enjoyable stuff and leave the mundane study and work to some lackey!" That's what you are really saying.... Never worked ever....and it certainly won't work now!....AGAIN....BE CAREFUL!
Enthusiasm is fine but you have to have direction, knowledge, goals and 'killer attitude'. Just 'wanting success' is never enough.
We said goodbye to Arthur Dakin:
And
yes, Arthur Dakin's funeral was a joy...nice, friendly and a good memory of a
good friend...I visited the scene of the accident...what a
tragedy.
Regards
Dec
"Alas
no, the trick, the recipe, is hard
work"
doris
lessing
============================================
Tip of the Week: "Always have one credit card specifically for your career business. A Member flew to Ireland last night for a concert. Got to the Airport to pick up the tickets ordered by the agent....they had not been paid for...whoops. He had £800 in cash in his pocket.
Got to Dublin to pick up the hire car [again ordered by the agent]...not paid for. With no credit card, they wanted 600Euros deposit for starters....whoops again!
It is virtually impossible to buy flight tickets - and certainly impossible to hire a car without a credit card [with funds in!]"
============================================
"You couldn't make it up!"
The UK's lunatic Government strikes at the music industry again:
A landlord was fined £500, with more than £1,500
costs, for allowing four of his regulars to sing 'Happy
Birthday' (without an
entertainment license)
[Please lobby your local MP re. the forthcoming draconian Licensing Bill planned which will affect YOU]
============================================
Gag of the Week [don't know where they get them but they keep rolling in!]:
"Two
couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on
the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that
Bill's wife Sue, legs spread wide, wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by
this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and
emerged
red-faced.
Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Sue followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well, indeed he did.
She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."
After
taking a minute or two to assess the financial as well as the moral costs of
this offer, John indicates that
he is indeed interested. She tells him that
since her husband, Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, that John
should be at her house around 2:00 Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the planned time with Sue at 2:00 PM sharp and after paying her the agreed sum of $500, they went to the bedroom and closed their sexual transaction as Sue had promised.
Afterwards, John quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Bill came home from work at 6:00 PM and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?" A little worried, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"
In
terror, she assumed that somehow he'd found out, and after mustering up her best
poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500." Bill, with
a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping
he did. He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He
promised he'd stop by the house this afternoon and pay me
back."
NOW THAT'S A POKER PLAYER!!
Serious Writers
Guild Member Barry Maguire
============================================
ARCHIVE COPIES OF 'ONE MINUTE WITH DEC' ARE LOCATED AT www.makehits.com/archive.htm
============================================
Heard enough, want to apply to join 'The Serious Writers Guild' and receive the award winning ten month program: "How To Make A $Million From Your Music" now?
"as secure as when you buy in your local shop"

I am so confident in the quality of the materials I offer, that if you are not happy at anytime in your WHOLE LIFE with the product then just mail me and ask for a complete, no-quibble, courteous refund! I mean it! Your payment will be returned promptly and courteously and you will OWE NOTHING. In fact, as a complimentary gift from me, I'll even let you keep all the releases that will make your business EXPLODE WITH SUCCESS - totally free of charge.
This is not only a guarantee - it's a personal promise. There's no catch, and there's no risk - I personally take ALL the risk.
We never advertise - I know and you know that songwriters/musicians tend to know a lot of other songwriters/musicians. If you sign up today and you introduce others to this program, I'm going to give you a full 35% commission on the $277 sale price for any of your friends who join. This means you could get the full cost of the program back AND make a profit within your very first month as a member - and thereafter it's pure profit for you. This money can help finance your music career, help pay off debts, or WHATEVER! I only want you to recommend this program to others if you seriously mean it.
When you sign up I'll tell you EXACTLY how to go about recommending this program to others and receiving your commissions - in fact, it's all a completely automatic process and I'll give you everything you need to get started!

Heard enough, want to apply now?
"as secure as when you buy in your local shop"
On the secure page you can pay any way you feel comfortable and secure. The easy way is to pay us on our secure server with your card, but you can also pay by check, money order, or email transfer. You can even pay monthly by card....no problem.. just go to 'choose the product you require' and select the monthly payments option.

That works out at the equivalent of just $29.70 a month for a value of at least $750,000 over a ten month period, and it's all 100% risk-free with our iron-clad LIFETIME guarantee - you can't lose!

If you prefer 'Clickbank' for secure purchase just click on the logo:
[As members of The Data Protection Society your details will never be given to ANYONE]
To pay by any other method please check out the payment methods on the secure page. Any queries re payment just contact me directly. I'll get back in touch with you within hours: mailto:dec@makehits.com?subject=Urgent! Alternative Payment Request from MakeHits.com
For your further protection, we are recognised by British Actors Equity.
Sign up now or risk losing the place to someone else. The number of places is strictly limited so act now, today.
For your complete
privacy and protection 'The Serious Writers Guild' is proud to be registered
with the Data Protection Society Reg. number Z5952061. We never share your
details with anyone.

http://www.makehits.com/081202oneminarchive.htm -- Revised: 2002-12-13
Copyright © 2002 MAKEHITS. All rights reserved.
Maintained by: makehits.webmaster@makehits.com