Well...four concerts this week and still answering all the Emails and calls from the Mebers of The Serious Writers Guild.  Well, as many as I can.  I must be mad!  .

I get asked why I do it.....dunno really.  "You've made your pile, why not sit back and relax".  I suppose I could really, but play and sing infront of 3,5000 and have them screaming on thrier feet at the end of the concert...there can't be much better feeling thatn that?  Can theere?  And then guys ask why I answer all the calls from meners and answer all the Emails [I'm writing this before I go on stage on Satrurday night in Solihull in the middle of England.  .

Well, whebn you get an Email from a 14 yearold in Idaho wanting to know how to get innto Showbusiness ...she loves the web site [www.makehits.co.uk] and just adores the idea of getting involved in thsi wonderful jmusic game...helping someone with a few words of advice is like thrunderouds applause to me.  The 'thankyou' notes are like a standing ovation, every one!.

A moving moment for a dear sovereign who saw two world wars and importantly, showed the aging that there can be a great life for those of advancing years...a total example of living latter life with enjoyment.

So what shall I write about this week to help you, inspire you, encourage you...give you that little tit bit of info that might be the last little notch in the key to success?

Shall I write about my favourite subject?  THE STUPIDITY OF 90% OF DRUMMERS?  Our own drummer is pretty clued up.  He knows how little regard I have for drummers, how they, are so insulated from 'commercial thought'...let me explain.  We have had a few bands supporting us this week.  Each one , without exception, had that aweful monotonous, knocking your ear off, out of context rimshot crack.  The sound boy tyryinh his vbest to get the rest of the mix over the horrendously loud snare.  When will drummers learn to listen to their kit from an audience point of view...or better still, froma sound boy point of view.beaE HAVE HAD A FEW DIFFERENT BANDS AIN.I was lucky enough to meet her on a number of occasions.  Once my band performed for her at The Royal Variety Performance, the annual show at The London Palladium.  One of our major Hits was a nice ditty called: 'I Wouldn't Trade You for The World', a Number Three hit...on the night, without telling the organisers, we turned to the royal box, where she was seated, paused and song 'WE Wouldn't Trade You For The World'...you can imagine the audience reaction...and who got the headlines in the papers the next day?  Yep....the guys who thought of a great idea!  The guys who went the extra mile.  Do you think of innovative, never done before ideas?  You should do.

"There are no traffic jams when you go the extra mile"

We also headlined the 100th birthday celebrations for her at Mill Wall football stadium in London.

Tribute Bands:

I rarely get involved in the argument re. tribute bands, as my attitude is that the world moves on - and public taste dictates what we, the performers and music makers, should be providing.  But I happen to be right in the middle of the situation where bands are fraudulently portraying themselves as 'the real thing', when blatantly they are not.

I feel you will be interested in the view of a

'real band'

who are plagued by the 'tribute' scam.

Tragically, by the time the punter has glanced at the poster, bought the ticket and sat down to see his 'favourite' band, it is far too late to realise that he is being 'duped'.

There is a band in the UK which sports one member, who Con and I dismissed from our band in 1984, he went out of the business into a promotional company and recently was dismissed from that as well.  Not a good track record, you might say.  In fact when he joined us, originally, he had recently been fired from a band.  He found a lead singer, described to me as a pub circuit singer, and a guitar player and put, what can only be called, a 'Bachelors tribute band' on the road.

When we arrived back at the hotel last night the night porter was delighted to meet his 'favourite band' and told us that he had been to Blackpool [the premiere entertainment resort in the UK] and was delighted to see 'The Bachelors' advertised.  He bought the tickets and attended the show.  I quote him verbatim: "These three characters appeared on stage...they didn't even sound like you.  That wasn't the sound of The Bachelors.  That was a fraud...it should be stopped.  I was livid, what a waste of time and money".  It was quite amusing, as the comic with us last night, 'Jimmy Cricket', does many shows with this 'tribute' type band ...'Bachelors' look-alikes.  I explained to Jimmy that we get that complaint, about that band, from the public, constantly...he was quite taken aback.

Agents, promoters and the Tribute bands

I do feel that agents, promoters and the tribute bands themselves should act more responsibly.  The law in the USA is now quite specific that the band name may be used by anyone who has had a connection with the band, but that connection must be clearly shown on the advertising.  Sadly, in the UK, the public are being duped big time!  The name will appear on a poster but rarely say that it is not the 'proper' band.

The night porter's story is not unique...we get it all the time.  I even went to see a presentation by this 'tribute' band to check it out...and as he said, they sound nothing like the real thing...it is a cheap presentation with substandard, pub sound and no 'concert' lighting...mixer in the middle of the stage...you know the sort of thing, like a pub band.  Altogether a let down for the public who expect to see Con and Dec with our huge, mega show.  The guy we dismissed all those years ago, John Stokes, does not even front the band.  He has a guy with a tenor voice singing our songs.  The guitar player [from an old Fifty's and Sixty's trio] is one of those very old fashioned 'dry sound' guitar players and the band behind...well?  They make no attempt to play the proper recording arrangements of our toons and the whole presentation is extremely sub standard...a 'pub' presentation.  And that is not my opinion, [well I agree, as it happens!] but the opinion of the staff and members of the audience close by, where I was standing.  As one girl said: "it sounds like karaoke"

Advice:

If you are involved with a 'tribute' band, at least put a lot of time into learning the proper arrangements.  Get into the 'psyche' of the original performance and study what you are a 'tribute' to.  It is not good enough to just put the suits on and sing the songs, like you are singing in a pub...not by a long shot.   Need I say more?  You have to sleep well at night!

In 'How to make a £Million From Your Music' www.makehits.co.uk/swgintro.htm I advise guys to take a Hit track from the charts and do an exact copy...a precise and meticulously accurate version of the original, whether on computer or written on manuscript for a live band.  Vocals and all.  This is to instil into the brain the amount of differing sounds, the amount of 'ideas' and the complexity of 95% of 'today' arrangements.  All the Members are shocked when they do this exercise...try it yourself...and prepare to have your eyes opened.  It also shows that it is impossible to replicate a Hit track with just a normal, stage band line-up.  An 'added instruments track' with all the special stuff on is essential...but - I reserve those methods for my Members of 'The Serious Writers Guild'.

Those Bachelor tribute guys neither sound like the original, behave like the original, or look like the original...sad.  I should know, I am the original!  And the audience around me agreed as one.  That is why the major 'Abba' tributes are so good...you can practically not tell the difference.  But the bad Abba tributes...well.....    

I may sound like I am carping...YES, I AM.

The public should be protected, and certainly fans of 'The Bachelors' should be protected.  Similarly, the fans of all major bands should have redress...a money back, no quibble, if not satisfied, guarantee.  Con and I offer a total guarantee to every promoter and agent who books our show...we are the only ones in British Show Business to do this....I advise you to do the same....but will you?  Takes bottle...we never have one complaint!  You have to be sure of your product.

PLEASE.......

If you are a part of a 'tribute' or 'look alike' band, be responsible, make sure everyone concerned and most importantly the Public know that you are, indeed, a tribute.  You will only earn the reputation of being a fraud and not trustworthy, sadly.  Agents, again sadly, couldn't give a toss...they just want the biggest pay-cheque and usually don't care how they get it.  Promoters likewise!  Sorry for saying that, but prove me wrong?  Check out the advertising for 'The Bachelors' at The North Pier this Summer in Blackpool...case proven?  It ain't the real thing.  Trading Standards Authority and Trade Descriptions people are less than useless in these instances.

You will not help your career by being part of a scam.  Use the 'idea' to show your talent and help your pursuit of 'fame', 'success' and 'fortune'.  Don't be like that 'Bachelors' rip off who went to Australia used the name of The Bachelors and also used our publicity photographs.  Unbelievable!  By the time the authorities got into action they had gone....don't practice those sort of tricks.  It won't further your career one jot. 

At the end of the day:

If you get up to these tricks, you may make a few bob but can you sleep at night?  In Show Business, have the reputation of being as honest as the day is long.  Deliver the goods, be original, be 'new', be innovative.  Being part of a scam will lead to misery and disillusionment.  If the 'scam' show goes well, how do you know what the audience are appreciating?  You?  The band you are scamming?  Isn't it much better to be honest and straightforward and know that the audience love YOU for YOURSELF?

"Always Give More Than You Promise"

There is nothing like a standing ovation from folk who love you and appreciate you.

Yep, the 1,200 last night were on their feet and screaming......wonderful feeling!  When you are the guys who made all the hits, sang on every hit record of The Bachelors [and there were loads of them] it is a wonderful warm, satisfying feeling...

TRY IT!  IT'S GREAT FUN....AND THE BANK BALANCE IS EVEN A GREATER FEELING [GRIN]

Nice to be proved right

A lot of what I say in my 'How To Make A £Million From Your Music" www.makehits.co.uk/swgmore.htm is frowned upon when guys read it first.  In fact, I always say that most guys throw down the first month's release in disgust at least six times.  But at the end of the day, they always pick it up again an reluctantly say: "That Dec is right, y'know"

Also, I have said all the time, since I founded 'The Serious Writers Guild', that it is no longer a choice with songwriters/performers/composers/ music makers.  You have to have all the knowledge of the total music making process, or at least a working knowledge of how it all comes together.

It is no longer good enough to 'just want to write songs' or 'just want to write lyrics'.  So many guys say this to me.  I always advise them to get into programming, get piano lessons, learn how studios work, learn what Pop toons are all about.  This comes as a great culture shock - most guys have little idea of how talented you have to be, today.  I was lucky, I understood this logic right from the start of my career and I was always hungry for knowledge.  This is why I am at the forefront of my profession, today.  Everything I do is totally '2002'.  I still hate if I do not know how every single bit of gear works and operates...I find out fast....I will not be beaten by anything..and that includes the TV remote control!  Or the video recorder timer...can you set it to record on Friday week at 7.53pm?

So it thrilled me to read about 'Sugergang'...three guys who have teamed up to be the most happening production team in the UK.  Avril Mackintosh, Wayne Wilkins and Steve Lee.

"Today's Pop is designed and built by teams that combine writing, production, engineering and programming"

Each of the guys involved is totally au fait with each others particular 'speciality'.  They can all write, so the co-writing is exciting and vibrant.  They can all engineer, programme, play and sing.  Responsible for the 'Hearsay' stuff.

Advice?

Make absolutely sure you know everything that contributes to success in our industry.  Learn programming, learn writing, learn how to write music down [even in simplistic fashion], learn how all that outboard kit works.  Learn about stage sound, Front of House Sound, learn about lighting, the best way to get the most out of light rigs, vari-lights, roboscans, par cans.  Stage costumes...the ones that light best and make YOU look the best.  Even stage make-up.  Think I'm kidding?  Think again!

Aside:  I was asked to go to a Gig at Wokingham last Thursday night, Vicci Esselle was appearing...some of the guys were knowledgeable about make-up, the others weren't...what a difference...certainly sorts the men out from the  boys.  The guys who knew and had great make up on [yep, even the fellas] looked 'the business'.  Again, I cover the necessity and the logic in my 'Serious Writers Guild' writings for The Members...if you don't know about make-up, you are dead in the water.

If you leave this to other people around you, how will you ever know that it is being done properly?

If you don't know this stuff, how do you know that that little bit of 'lack of knowledge' stopped you getting to the top?

If you leave it to others, how do you know you are not just being lazy?

I cover every aspect of the 'today' success arsenal which you MUST have in my 'Serious Writers Guild' writings.  The new 'One Minute With Dec - The first Annual' with it's two interactive Audio CD's is proving to be a mighty tool for songwriters/composers/music makers and performers...you hear successful guys, of today, actually confirm everything I say and giving more of their earth shattering tricks and advice!  203 new ideas, to be precise....what could you do with that knowledge?  One trick can turn a career into a goldmine, but 203?  Just Email me: dec@makehits.com

"Technical understanding creates confidence among A&R people and managers."

avril mackintosh

So, phone is ringing in the hotel room, limo is here to get me to the airport...the family have called from the dining table at my home...no 'Daddy' this Easter.  We have a family tradition of always ringing the family members who aren't with us at Sunday lunch...it's a lovely idea that just developed over the years...now it's automatic.  I had a little tear in my eye, I was not with the family this time.  Try it.

Family is EVERYTHING!

That's Show Biz!  This business is tough, hard and you don't get to lead a normal life...it is full of excitement and challenges.  The problems, on a daily basis, would destroy normal people, but we learn the tricks, the know how.  We learn to be tough, we learn to never blame others...and we have a ball...you sleep like a baby when you absolutely stuff an audience...because they loved 'YOU'....particularly when you know that what you are presenting is 'today', 'state of the art', 2002.....Wow!

Tip of the week: Always have TWO stage costumes with you at a Gig, you may be asked to appear twice.  And remember the word 'costume'.  A 'costume' is designed specifically for your appearance on stage, it is not street clothes, you don't sit round in a 'costume', you NEVER go home in a 'costume'....understand that logic and you are half way there in 'looking good' on stage or TV.

The gags come in thick and fast: